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Original poster

Tinder

15 replies

umbongoumbongo · 24/11/2014 22:43

I recently joined this to see who was out and about in my age range. Anyone else on it? I've found that guys seem to message lots and get to the point of arranging a date then just stop messaging?! I don't then bother chasing as if they can't be arsed I think it's rude. Is it just me or is this a common thing?

OP posts:
Arrowminta · 24/11/2014 22:51

I've never met anyone from Tinder full stop.

I'ts not very active around these parts and I've found that I end up chatting to someone for a couple of hours then that's all it amounts too.

Waste of time ime.

Original poster
umbongoumbongo · 24/11/2014 23:05

There seem to be loads of people on it round me. I am quite selective though as am quite a country person and most of them seem to like clubbing it up even in slightly older age range so probably not for me.. Why are they on it if they don't actually want to meet?!

OP posts:
niceupthedance · 25/11/2014 07:03

I was on it for nearly a year... Lots of small talk and men trying to instigate filth chat. Met up with only 2 people but that was my choice as I have limited time and also v fussy. Think most people use it as an ego boost these days.

DrSethHazlittMD · 25/11/2014 08:47

Christ, I've never even had a 'match' on it, think yourself lucky to have even chatted to someone!

ClearlyOpaque · 25/11/2014 08:57

I downloaded Tinder for a laugh just over a year ago (to cheer a mate up, as we were both single and sick of it).

I chatted to quite a few guys, but they only seemed after one thing, so I didn't meet up with anyone. Until I started chatting to S, who lived very close to me. The chat was good, so 2 days later we met up in the local pub.

Fast forward 14 months and we are very happily living together with our first baby due in June...

So, I would say Tinder is amazing! I guess it's largely down to luck, but to say it doesn't work is wrong....

Wilding · 25/11/2014 09:01

I've used Tinder, it's v active where I live (London). Went on lots of dates with (mostly) normal guys and met my current OH on there, so I would say it definitely can work! I know a couple of other people who have met their DPs on there as well.

Original poster
umbongoumbongo · 25/11/2014 09:54

It's really frustrating. Why would you go to the point of arranging a time and location to meet up then just disappear after chatting for ages over a week? It's making me really down actually Sad

OP posts:
ClearlyOpaque · 25/11/2014 10:15

I never experienced that umbungo and I think that is bang out of order. It's obviously bad manners on their part and I know it's easy to say, but please don't let it get to you.

My advice would be if you like chatting to someone, try and meet up with them within a day or so. And if they go quiet, it's their loss.... NEXT!

Original poster
umbongoumbongo · 25/11/2014 10:32

It's happened twice now. Literally had day and venue etc agreed then suddenly nothing they just stop messaging. I'm having a tough time coming to terms with leaving a 3+ year EA relationship and this is really not helping my self esteem. I feel awful and sat here crying now. I was meant to be going for lunch today with someone who actually came across as really decent and the same thing has happened. I'm not really getting any support from my girl 'friends' either as they are all too wrapped up with their babies. My 'best friend' hasn't even rung me or even texted since I left my ex's house 3 weeks ago.

OP posts:
skippy84 · 25/11/2014 10:39

To be honest if you've only left your ex three weeks ago Id give the online dating a miss for now. You need a thick skin and not to take it too seriously so if it's getting the the point of making you cry I would steer clear and just focus on building your self esteem up again without thinking about dating

ClearlyOpaque · 25/11/2014 10:42

Completely agree with skippy, it's too soon for you to be online dating. The whole experience needs to be taken with a pinch of salt and viewed as the fun that it is.

Original poster
umbongoumbongo · 25/11/2014 10:43

We broke up a while ago but I couldn't leave for a while due to logistics. I don't think time will make me feel any better or worse about what happened with ex it has just upset me that I have been (yet again) messed about by these other people.

OP posts:
Original poster
umbongoumbongo · 25/11/2014 10:46

I haven't been too involved in it really; been very selective who I've chatted to. It's just a confidence knock. I think feeling annoyed is justified as I'd feel the same if it were anyone; a customer or friend for example. It's the being messed about that's upset me after some long in depth conversations.

OP posts:
niceupthedance · 25/11/2014 18:59

What I find on all dating sites is that there are a lot of people on there who are not ready to date. Liking pictures, cool. Flirty chat, also good. Meeting up? Arrrgh I don't want anyone but my ex (etc). I'd say 70% are recently single (or not quite single).

Arrowminta · 25/11/2014 19:54

Please don't take it personally OP. These men haven't met you and could even been partnered up for all you know so get cold feet.

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