C

[mimishimmi]

Name-changed for this. It's 11:30p.m and I just rang my husband to see where he is. He hasn't contacted me all evening to let me know. He said he's having dinner with two ex-colleagues...still there, not on way home.I can hear pounding nightclub music in the background. Married 15 years, two children. Do I believe him?

Ok.so maybe i didn't namechange.

I wouldn't

Although if he was doing something he shouldn't be he really should have had the brains to ring you early in the evening with an excuse as to why he would be late so you just went to bed non the wiser

Impossible to tell from this -- does he have any history with this kind of thing? You must have some reason to be suspicious. Did he show up eventually?

Head's in a mess. Got home just after 12. showed me emails that his ex colleagues planned to meet up at 5:30pm. he emailed them that he couldn't make it until 7pm (when he usually gets off work). One of them replied that they could probably hang around until 7. i know this man has 4 young children at home - finding it hard to believe he'd stay 6 hours?

The question is - what restaurant did they go to? There are plenty of them with loud music and chatting and drinking can take time.

Still a bit unclear what do you suspect happened? It's certainly not unusual for a group of guys to stay out together until midnight, especially if they are old colleagues who haven't seen each other for a while. Does your husband go out a lot? Need a bit more context for this in general how'e the marriage otherwise? Do you think he's seeing someone else?

He told me I have shit in my head and that i probably got these ideas from these forums (he knows about MN). Totally turned it in me and said my thoughts are dirty (because I asked 'who is she') . i had put the chainlock on front door and he said i embarassed him in front of neighbours (we live in apartment block). we always put chain lock on before going to bed.

I'm with your partner on this one ....

Unless he has been caught doing something before, that is a huge overreaction.

Do you have a reason to believe that he isn't just out for dinner with colleagues? Does he have form for this?

Yeah, I'm not really hearing any strong or compelling evidence supporting your suspicions. Is it not possible he had dinner with his friends and maybe they went to a pub afterwards that was playing loud music? And if he did that, is that so wrong?

sorry, emails were from last week not today. said he forgot to tell me.

I still don't really get the relevance of the emails. But sounds like maybe it's all sorted now?

This on its own wouldn't worry me. I went for dinner mid week with work colleagues last month, then a loud bar before getting 11pm ish train home. I am not up to anything bad.

What reason do you have for thinking that he is lying?

Forgot to add that colleagues and I all married with DC.

I fail to see the problem except he should have told you and gotten in touch to say he'd be late.

Why would you think he's cheating?

Had he said he'd be home late it would have saved him a lot of bother. I'm guessing this isn't about him asking permission, just having the gumption to give you some advance warning. Has he always got on his high horse when you challenge inconsiderate behaviour?