House move?

[Couragedoesntroar]

I live with my lovely two DC (9 and 10). We live in a good area with lots of friends. I travel to work 3 days a week, 50 miles away. The kids' dad has a house locally and has the kids two days a week, although he lives away the rest of the time and is abroad frequently, so a little inconsistent. Outgoing costs are considerable relating to childcare and transport.

Do we move nearer my work when DC1 starts year 7 next year? There is an excellent school and I could be at home after school everyday. They'd go to their dad, probably, every other weekend.

I'm scared to move an hour away from friends. I could make efforts to see them of course and I make friends easily. But I'm scared and not sure what's best.

Any advice?

Having done it in the past, I wouldn't move just for work again. Jobs are generally not secure and if you were to be made redundant would you still want to be in that area?

If not then look to change jobs, not always that easy I know but surely easier then setting up a whole new life 50 miles away.

While its not the other side of the world, the distance becomes a bit of a barrier to seeing friends as you no longer pop in on each other, instead you are getting diaries out and scheduling in lunch for the last Tuesday in 3 months time, because who wants a 100 mile round trip to find someone not home?

I wouldn't recommend moving away from friends. It is much much harder to make new friends (esp if the friends in question are childhood friends).

Thanks mama and mimi. It's a big deal to leave friends isn't it? Commuting is more lonely in winter perhaps.

Do you drive, or take public transport? Could you get a kindle or some audio dramas?

I'd move house. I don't know how you cover the 100 mile round trip but it has to take a big bite out of both your budget and your family time. 50 miles isn't such a big distance that you'll be dropped by all your friends and I'm sure you'd make new ones in your new location.... especially as you'd have more money and time for socialising. A great school isn't to be sneezed at either.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Moving house is very expensive so it would be some time before you recouped that in terms of travel and childcare I would think. Jobs can change at very short notice whereas friends tend to be more of a certainty so on that basis I would stay put. Your dc are getting older and in a few years the childcare issues will be different.

Have you asked the dc? In this case I think their views are important.mas well as school and friends you are actually considering disrupting the time they have with their dad. That could cause a lot of sadness and resentment on all sides.