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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Partner physically threatened me while I held our baby

14 replies

Tommytippymug · 08/11/2014 18:33

And said he wanted to kill me. It's because I said I didn't want him to take ds to the shops for the day. I just feel so drained.
He has now disappeared for the day. He is so emotionally nasty aswell. I plan to leave or get him to leave but it's hard when there are financial restrictions and also I feel very low.
Just wanted to vent.. X

OP posts:

Hassled · 08/11/2014 18:34

I think you need to leave now, rather than at some vague point in the future. Threats to kill are taken pretty damn seriously by the police, and that's who I think you should be calling. They can make him leave.

farendofafart · 08/11/2014 18:37

Agree. It's not normal EA to tell someone you want to kill them. Take it seriously.

pickles184 · 08/11/2014 18:43

Just to add another voice telling you to call the police, immediately.
Have you someone you can call to come and give you some moral support whilst this is being sorted?

Please don't let any amount of financial or loneliness concerns stop you from taking action in this instance, both you and your child deserve and need to be in a better environment than that. There are a lot of charities and organisations who can help you find your feet without this low-life anywhere near you.

AnotherStitchInTime · 08/11/2014 18:48

Phone the Police and log it on 101. They will be supportive.

Phone Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247 they can help you with access to legal support to keep him away allowing you to stay in your home or with a refuge. They can also help you with sorting out finances.

Take his threats seriously, you and your baby are at risk. You can do this.

pickles184 · 08/11/2014 18:48

www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100080016&itemTitle=Helpline+FAQs
A good place to start after the police OP, the helpline will be able to put you in touch with a number of sources of solid help.

Quitelikely · 08/11/2014 18:50

All he is doing is creating another abuser. Who do I mean? Your lovely little baby.

Believe me that's how they learn it, by witnessing it.

Sending you virtual strength and courage to do that right thing by you and your baby.

Original poster

Tommytippymug · 08/11/2014 20:59

Thank you everyone x
But it just seems so extreme, calling the police... I don't think he meant it.
It feels like I am making a bad situation even worse and feel as if the situation will be my fault. Like I am a troublemaker.

OP posts:

GoatsDoRoam · 08/11/2014 21:14

Call 101 and report it. Let them tell you if you are a troublemaker (they won't).

And also 0808 2000 247 (Women's Aid) for advice and a listening ear. They too will confirm that you are not a "troublemaker" and are right tone taking things seriously. And they can advise you on your plan to leave.

PepsiTwirl · 08/11/2014 21:16

Think of your baby

AnyFucker · 08/11/2014 21:18

We can't help you (and neither can anyone else) if you don't accept he did wrong. It really is as simple as that.

whitsernam · 08/11/2014 21:21

Yes, he will blame you, tell you it's all your fault, that you are a troublemaker. BUT No one else will!! The police will be there in a flash. And it is HIS fault. You didn't hold a gun to his head and force him to say those words, now, did you? So it can't possibly be your fault.

Rebecca2014 · 08/11/2014 21:30

My ex used to threaten to kill me too or punch me. It was his way of controlling me when I didn't do what he wanted or wouldn't shut up.

All I will say is this is abuse, do you really want spend the rest of your life with this nasty man? having to walk on egg shells? I was scared of being alone but I realized I was better off being alone than with him.

When you are ready you will leave or he will. You cannot carry on like this, well you can...some women do for twenty years and imagine how much of their life they have wasted.

tipsytrifle · 09/11/2014 00:24

You say he physically threatened you. As well as verbally? What did he do? You really should phone the police and get this logged. Hoping someone doesn't mean what they say is probably a risky avoidance tactic. A bit like hiding under the duvet. It won't save you.

Coyoacan · 09/11/2014 01:16

OP, do please call the police and Women's Aid.

You have obviously got used to being mistreated, OP, so you aren't reacting as you should react. You baby should never be exposed to this kind of treatment.

My exSil attacked my dd and then screamed at her while holding my 2-month-old dgd. Dd managed to kick him out but it took another two weeks before the baby stopped sounding angry.

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