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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I will never understand what goes through the minds of men...

15 replies

DuckedUp · 30/08/2014 15:56

So, had a three month relationship with someone that ended about a month ago. It went up in flames basically. All going nicely, he was distant for a couple of days and didn't contact me when he said he would a couple of times, I pre-empted a dumping by dishing out the dumping. Tried to apologise and sort it out and he wanted none of it.

Anyway, on Thursday, he joined a dating site I am on, messaged me just general nice chit chat. Started getting a bit flirty. I cut the conversation short.
it was about 12pm and he had been to the pub. He doesn't get drunk by the way or this would have rung louder alarm bells.

Then he messaged again saying he wasn't after an ego boost just genuinely wanted to talk to me, wondered what went wrong. We had a big heart to heart. He asked if I wanted to meet up. Said he'd call me again yesterday and since then...a big fat nothing!!!

I know to leave it, it's for the best, shouldn't be this hard bla bla bla but it's driving me crazy trying to figure out what it was all about.

Any theories??

OP posts:
DuckedUp · 30/08/2014 15:57

12am, not 12pm

OP posts:
tribpot · 30/08/2014 16:03

You say he doesn't get drunk but you don't know him well. I would assume either he was drunk when you spoke, or he regretted having opened up and decided to pretend it never happened.

You do have to let this go, though.

DuckedUp · 30/08/2014 16:06

I know. I am not going to pursue it, I just want to understand it so I can forget about it!

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 30/08/2014 16:08

It should not be this hard work ever this early on.

No need to try and understand; just move on and find a good'un Thanks

WhatsGoingOnEh · 30/08/2014 16:09

He was drunk. I'm afraid that's your answer.

What a time-wasting cock!

mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 30/08/2014 16:10

He's a dick. Simple as that.

DuckedUp · 30/08/2014 16:11

Even if he was a little bit drunk - and he doesn't get drunk very easily - why would it make you do that!? What an arse!

OP posts:
DuckedUp · 30/08/2014 16:12

just laughed aloud at that mymumma
Siiiiiiiiiigh. I know

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 30/08/2014 16:17

It was a booty email.

niceupthedance · 30/08/2014 16:50

Did he say he wasn't after an ego boost? Cos that's exactly what it sounds like. How annoying.

Iconfuseus · 30/08/2014 17:16

Send him straight to your 'ignore' folder!

daisychain01 · 30/08/2014 17:23

Duckedup, it's called The Thrill of the Chase.

It isnt just a man-thing, it appeals to the reward-centre of the brain to really want something, go for the killl, then... Hurumph I'm bored of this game/this play thing. Slink off under a stone for a day, then "rinse and repeat" >>yawn

PacificDogwood · 30/08/2014 17:26

Naw, it's 'wanting what you cannot have' - I agree with the 'dick' assessment.

Custardo · 30/08/2014 18:08

He's an arse

Yama · 30/08/2014 18:17

His ego is hurt because you chucked him. He wants to do the chucking. Aka - a dick.

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