Dwindled sex life...

[Torinsmam]

Hi,

I am an older mum, now 40 and have a very active 21 month old son. I work part time; my partner works full time. We have sex once every 6 - 8 weeks, our reasons being that we are both so tired. We both feel that our inactivity needs addressed. I give myself a hard time over it sometimes, thinking that something isn't right in our telationship. I was just wondering how other older mums feel about it and if they care to share their experiences with me?

Hi,

I am an older mum and have a very active 21 month old son. I work part time; my partner works full time. We have sex once every 6 - 8 weeks, our reasons being that we are both so tired. We both feel that our inactivity needs addressed. I give myself a hard time over it sometimes, thinking that something isn't right in our relationship. I was just wondering how other older mums feel about it and if they care to share their experiences with me?

To be honest every six to eight weeks does not seem too bad given the stressful situation you are experiencing. It depends on the quality. If it is good sex, tender and loving then I would not beat myself up about it. It can only get better as your DC grows more mature which will then allow you more time to think about yourself and your DH. Is he complaining about the frequency? If he is and you want to improve the situation (because it is what you want as well,) then there are books, toys etc to explore. To me it sounds as though you are doing fine considering your life style. Relax and try and enjoy your lovely DS. I was 40 when I had my last baby and I am not sure I even did it every six to 8 weeks. I have a fantastic sex life now. So hang in there.

Hi there. I'm struggling like you too (kids are 3 and 7mo).

Dh is lovely and affectionate, and would prob enjoy having sex twice a week. I struggle to find the energy for once a month. Wish it were different, but just don't know how to increase libido and energy levels.

Sorry I'm no help. I usually find setting aside a special night with wine and candles helps, but feels so planned. I want great, spontaneous sex, but maybe it'll have to wait a few years.