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Original poster

Is internet dating always such hard work?

15 replies

lottieandmia · 22/07/2014 12:59

I started talking to someone local to me. He seemed nice enough and laid back (or so I thought!!) and we texted a bit. I am very busy and don't always check my phone every 5 minutes. He had sent me one text followed by another half an hour later which said 'you don't seem to be very interested in me - be honest' I said that I was sorry but I was not always able to text back immediately. He said that we did not seem to talk very much. I said that I was willing to meet him to see if there was any connection and he replied with 'well you don't seem to want to meet me!!!!'

Is it honestly possible to meet someone 'normal' on these sites?

OP posts:
Cantbelievethisishappening · 22/07/2014 13:16

Texting and online dating...... A really shit combination

ClearlyMoo · 22/07/2014 13:23

It is possible but if it's hard work then it's probably not the right person. I met DH online and it was actually relatively straight forward from there on in.

I always tried to meet people within a fortnight of first contact.

As for the guy you were chatting to he sounds seriously insecure! Reply saying you do want to meet and if he continues to attention seek / ditch him!!

AndCatMakesThree · 22/07/2014 13:25

He sounds awful. It's ridiculous to expect you to text back immediately all the time - and then to berate you when you don't! If he's like that when you haven't even met and he should be trying to impress you, what on earth would he be like later? I reckon you've dodged a bullet there!

Dirtybadger · 22/07/2014 13:31

Wow avoid this bloke. Think you may need to be a little more ruthless to avoid creeps like this. If someone is being unreasonable/making you feel uncomfortable...dont give them the benefit of the doubt. You are entitled to either just not reply or be straight and say you're way too needy and I don't even know you- bye! No need to be particularly polite about it with some people (if you want them to get the picture!).

Normal people (like you!) use OLD too, though. So keep it at.

handfulofcottonbuds · 22/07/2014 13:32

I was dating someone briefly from online.

1st week we met, laughed a lot and I loved getting his texts / calls.

2nd week he asked me to text him as soon as I woke up, call him in my lunch break, text him when I got home, he'd then call me and then call me later in the evening.

3rd week I had enough! He got to the point where he'd ask me who I was on the phone to as he was trying to call me and I was speaking to someone "for ages". He'd ask why I didn't text him when I got up etc etc. Too smothering!!

This guy sounds like he'll be like that so I wouldn't even meet him, would put me right off from the start.

There are 'normal' men online though Smile

MeridithMcMilan · 22/07/2014 13:43

Stop texting him - he'll not bring any happiness your way.

Plenty more available.

Try messaging men - forget the texting - several at a time, then you don't tend to invest emotionally in them.

Have you been over to the Dating thread?

Original poster
lottieandmia · 22/07/2014 13:52

Usually I agree to text because I get too many messages that I can't keep up with responding. I'm maybe not very good at sorting out who's worth speaking to and who not. Years ago I spent about 2 months speaking to someone who turned out not to exist so that was not a good experience either!

Thanks - where is the dating thread?

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmia · 22/07/2014 14:22

I've just looked back at his messages and early on he's expecting me to explain what he's looking for and saying he wants someone to settle with. I think some people expect too much too soon.

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmia · 22/07/2014 14:23

Also why is it a bad idea to text? Most people seem to want to talk on whatsapp.

OP posts:
Scarletohello · 22/07/2014 15:49

I try to arrange to meet someone ASAP as till you've met them for real you just don't know who you're dealing with.

This guy has issues...I'd get rid. He's insecure and demanding.

Scarletohello · 22/07/2014 15:52

Someone once said you can't tell if you fancy someone until you've smelt them. Sounds weird but a lot of sexual attraction is built on pheromones and compatible immune systems ( apparently).

Don't waste your time on investing in someone till they are in front of you.

Minime85 · 22/07/2014 16:20

Yes I think u can meet someone normal. He sounds either extremely controlling or extremely insecure. I wouldn't go there.

I think texting is fine.

neiljames77 · 22/07/2014 16:28

It sounds like you've had a lucky escape. I like the texting and calls but if someone doesn't reply straight away, you don't go harrassing them or making accusations.
The online dating is a minefield though and takes real patience to sift through the time wasters.

tigermoll · 22/07/2014 16:29

Dating is a bear pit, and that goes for online, friends of friends, meeting people in bars or attending the Netherfield Ball when the regiment's in town. Good luck OP - he's out there and you'll find him :)

Original poster
lottieandmia · 22/07/2014 23:16

I absolutely agree that smell is so important. For me it's more important than looks.

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