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Baby overnight- advice needed

31 replies

Lookingforabetteryear · 21/07/2014 22:55

Ex partner has not had seven month old baby overnight yet due to bf. he has stated with me and baby overnight when we where trying to get back together, but he's emotionally abusive so I second shot was just pointless. Anyway he wants baby overnight. Is this reasonable? He also wants to travel by train 2/3 hours back to his home town with baby for a weekend. Thoughts please. I can't stand the idea- not because I think he'd neglect or harm baby just because I really really do not like him.

OP posts:

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mindyourown1 · 22/07/2014 23:20

How is he abusive and nasty - do you think the baby will be at risk to be with him overnight? That is the main issue here - will it be safe?

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Noneedtoworryatall · 22/07/2014 23:26

I would let him stay at yours and maybe you stay with family or friends.

Baby will be in familiar surroundings all the equipment is at hand and you will be close by.

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bragmatic · 23/07/2014 11:30

Emotionally abusive?

Nope.

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Dirtybadger · 23/07/2014 11:41

What mytit says. He could be the perfect father but if he only sees baby now and again it's going to be a pretty big jump from that to overnight. Agree in principle (if you are comfortable with it) and agree on a time frame to build up to it, perhaps? I.e. Yes baby can go overnight but once he has already adhered to more frequent contact. You can change your mind during that time if anything comes to head, obviously.

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rb32 · 23/07/2014 11:44

er mytitifers I've got three under 5. In fact I was in a similar situation a while back when me and my g/f had seperated for a time. I had my 7 month old son, after a period of a month when I had hardly seen him and in which he had stopped breastfeeding, every weds night. This then progressed to also include every weekend with my other children about a month later ( the others also joined us on weds nights).

I'll admit, after that month away from him it may have taken a few weeks of this to return to normal however it very soon did. My boy was absolutly fine throughout this time and I really do feel that (as much as you can with a child under 1!) the bond between us was kept constant because of it.

Not until three is just rediculous.

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Middleagedmotheroftwo · 23/07/2014 15:42

What would you say OP if EX said he didn't want you to have care of the baby because he doesn't like you?