Dp and I met when he was going through a host of issues and a crap set of circumstances. As a result, despite me falling head over heels with him, unknowingly to me he was simply pissing me about. Was still on dating sites and sex hook up sites 7 months after we'd agreed to go exclusive and after I had introduced him to my children etc. I was mortified and so cut up about it and I'm all honesty, despite us staying together I don't think I ever really felt the same about him after that.
That's the background anyway, more recently, he proposed to me on valentines day but only because I was getting at him about his lack of commitment. We're supposed to be getting married next year and he has shown very little interest in the wedding plans ( but that's men apparently?) . We argue all the time because we both have different ways about us. I see an issue and like to talk about it or I look forward to an upcoming event and like to talk about it. He doesn't and this has lead to a number of subjects becoming "dodgy ground" meaning if I mention them, I run the risk of a massive argument. Some of these subjects are important, money for example. We can't discuss money as it just ends in a massive shit short. He loses his temper so easily and takes everything I say so personally that it becomes impossible to have a rational discussion with him.
There's other stuff. He has two teenage boys who come every Saturday and they do not talk. In the years I've known dp I've honestly never heard the boys address each other. It's an awkward atmosphere and leaves me feeling extremely uncomfortable in my own house. Before I met dp I used to have every other Saturday night child free - now we never get a weekend child free and not only that but he refuses to go for a night out whilst his kids are here (although is fine with leaving my kids home alone at 13 and 15. This means we never go out on a weekend.
He moans all the time, either about feeling ill, my son's behaviour, housework ... There is always something.
Yesterday I'd been on a 13 hour shift and a bad one at that. I came home and he'd made me a lovely casserole :-) he then proceeds to tell me that his mum has been clearing her garage out ready to move and so all the photos that she had in her small bedroom are now in our garage. This includes all his previous wedding photos. Nice. Remind me never to go in my own garage. Oh and he then starts going on and on about my son's behaviour as he'd been cheeky. Great to come home to after 13 hours of stoma disasters, dying patients and stressed out sniping staff.
I feel like I'm getting less and less interested in him. I get excited at the thought of buying my own little house and doing as I please with it. Having my own money and just being able to chill out. tHis is the first time I've felt like this not on the back of a argument.