why wouldn't your mum tell you she was having an operation?

[carlajean]

I guess this is more like an AIBU, but I don't want to set myself for a flaming, so am unloading here..
I'm one of three, and have quite a difficult relationship with my mother. I knew she was going into hospital for the day for an operation on a shoulder ligament earlier this month, then she told me it was postponed until January. My sister contacted me to tell me that she had it yesterday (and it went well, thankfully). She and my brother are sorting out microwave meals for her and my dad, but I just feel 'why should I bother' if i'm not kept in the picture about when she has it done.

In what way is your relationship difficult?

Is there a history of difficult or self-centred behaviour on your part? (I'm not suggesting there is, it's a genuine question).

The main reason I can think of is if a person gets quite hysterical and is a bit self-centred, that they then turn any big event into something that is about them.

One of my sisters is a hypochondriac. We never tell her if we have a medical problem because either 1 she has it too (but always much worse than you or 2 she goes into drama queen mode sobbing and wailing.

Maybe she thinks you're really busy and didn't want to worry you/make you feel you had to offer help? Maybe the operation was postponed but then another patient cancelled and the hospital offered her a last-minute slot? Tbh, your response that you weren't kept in the picture so why should you bother is a bit - shouldn't you just be wishing her well and helping out if you can?