Text s£x

[mumsnetfan]

married male friend says text s£x with a female friend is not an affair, I think it is, what do others think, no physical relationship all happens on text

I agree with Beetroot
it's a bit of an overstatement to say it would necessarily be a major betrayal and it is certainly nothing like an affair.
but there is a difference between just flirting and using texting as a prelude to more intimacy.
the second is of course more serious but just talking about it is NOT the same as actually doing it.
imho

yes, i would hate it..but wonder if we need to change our attitudes slightly...

I agree with Beetroot (again )
If my dh WAS flirting by text and he said it was just flirting I would believe him.
it happens.
I am not saying I wouldn't be almightily cross and hurt but I think we would all live to see another day.

I would be worried about things like; how did it start? they must have known they were attracted to each other so decided to start texts?

Or was it that they want to go to bed but are building up to it - enjoying the chase etc?

I know what you mean, we are together a long time and I don't think that flirting isd such a bad thing, however anything like that HAS to be up front and open as it is so easy to hurt people with this kind of thing!

HCC - how would you know which was which though?

The reason it is a betrayal is not necessarily because they mean to do somehting or whatever, it is because the other person would be asked to accept on trust that they are not. and that is a big ASK IMO.

Just because someone says oh it is just fun - well thast is what they would say if it was more than that isn't it? (unless they wanted to be caught)

I don't think it is fair to put someone in a position where they have to ask whether they trust this person enough etc etc. - just for a cheap thrill/ego boost or a Wxxk in a cubical at work

A couple of months ago after a work night out a colleague started sending me filthy texts and I thought this was hilarious and responded in a very prim fashion but this just egged him on and he was quite persistant in a playful type of way. Each time I replied to him I was never encouraging but I was replying and this was enough for him to keep texting. Eventually I just emailed him a fairly curt email and put an end to it as I realised how upset that dp would be if he knew about it. I thought it was funny but in reality it was just a bit scummy nad no matter how innocent I had been in my replies I had replied instead of ignoring him as I should have.

So no I don't think it is the same as having an affair but it is disloyal

Ok flirting, IMO not so bad, as long as it is innocent and not in my face.

But I have done some serious sex txting and if we are talking about the same thing then it is pretty descriptive and very raunchy.

I don't know of one man who has engaged in txt sex and not wanted to find out if the things said in the txts could materialise.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe all the men that I have known are dawgs with no self control, but I know for sure that not all of them were single and all of them cheated at some point. (not with me)

Txt sex, flirty emails and hot fone calls, all the same to me. If they are things that you can't tell your OH about then you shouldn't be doing them.

Hiya
I know this is a very old post, any update on the situation mumsnetfan? Struck a cord with me, so just interested!

The danger with txt sx , I suppose, is sending it to the wrong person. Can you imagine?...

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Thats rank.

I could never lower myself to have any kind of sex with someone who used txt spk.

And I'm fairly sad and desperate....