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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

OMG....phone police or ignore????

17 replies

onanotherday · 16/10/2013 22:29

...nutter magnet here!! having come out of a very difficult break up (arent they all!!) decided to do the internet dating thing, choose carefully and 4 months ago started seeing a man who seemed very lovely...hmmmm.

OK stupid I know but have used the L word but as the weeks go by more and more red flags have cropped up. Cut alone story short broke up with him yesterday and now have 'broken' his heart,he has had it happen before and is threatening suicide...as I type.

Worried its not a hollow threat as he has had MH issues in the past. Im staying cool at the moment and speaking to him on the phone. I know its manipulation, but still....Cant believe I went through this with SBXH, i can pick em! Should I stay in contact with him tonight? ignore or phone police?

OP posts:

Waferthinmint · 16/10/2013 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsWinnieBaygo · 16/10/2013 22:32

Contact 101 to inform them of suicude threat, cease contact with him & don't engage further this evening with him or indeed ever - block & ignore.

This is about his issues not yours - notify authorities then walk away.

JaceyBee · 16/10/2013 22:41

Well done for listening to your bullshit radar! Text him the Samaritans number and if he contacts you again tell him you'll call him an ambulance/the police. That should shut him up!

I'm not wholly unsympathetic but he really needs to work on these issues for himself. Not your problem!

VegasIsBest · 16/10/2013 22:41

Hope you are ok. And him obviously.
Sounds like you've had a lucky escape.

JaceyBee · 16/10/2013 22:42

Well done for listening to your bullshit radar! Text him the Samaritans number and if he contacts you again tell him you'll call him an ambulance/the police. That should shut him up!

I'm not wholly unsympathetic but he really needs to work on these issues for himself. Not your problem!

JaceyBee · 16/10/2013 22:42

Oops sorry, double post there!

BooHissy · 16/10/2013 22:56

I had a nutter that I ended it with, he had health issues and one night texted HELP.

i was over 30 mins drive away, son sleeping upstairs (who had not and wouldn't ever have met him, despite how hard nutter pushed)

I called 101. I told them that he had ishoos with his health, but that I was fairly certain that this was an attempt to get me and my DS over there under false pretences.

I got a text 40m later telling me that the police had been, and sorry to bother you.

Call 101, explain the situation and tell them that you don't want to be involved. if they go round there and this guy is pissing them about, believe me, the police will bend his ear!

Do NOT ever contact this man again. Whenever he contacts you, call the police if he is threatening to harm himself, do not engage. EVER.

Change your number asap too

BooHissy · 16/10/2013 22:58

Do not speak to him.

Tell him that all this doesn't mean that you will be with him, and that you will hang up now.

Do it. He is using this to keep you dangling.

LividofLondon · 17/10/2013 10:12

Another vote for calling 101. If he's really in need of help the Police will be there to do so, and if he's just trying to manipulate you they will give him a thorough talking too. I've had similar and the Police were really helpful (gave the ex a slap on the wrist for being an attention-seeking emotional blackmailer and told him to leave me alone)

WiddleAndPuke · 17/10/2013 10:15

What Livid said.

If he's serious and at risk you'll have done all you can.
If (more likely) he's being a manipulative twat, he'll get a shock and hopefully won't try such nonsense again.

Vivacia · 17/10/2013 10:17

What happened in the end onanotherday?

ButThereAgain · 17/10/2013 10:17

Another voice saying this is absolutely not your problem. It is very controlling of him to say this to you. Either call 101 now, just to set your own mind at rest or respond to him just once by saying you will call the police if he mentions suicide to you again. And then ignore him completely.

Original poster

onanotherday · 17/10/2013 14:13

Well he lived!!....due to my talking and 'saving his life' of which i should be proud.!! his words.

I told him im not playing this game and i think a visit to his doctor wouldnt go a miss (based on history).

However he is still texting and some of it is as if nothinhg has happend!

For the record I have not or will not return them. I hope Im doing the right thing (hmmm)

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/10/2013 14:16

Of course you're doing the right thing. Emotional blackmail is such a low trick and this idiot doesn't appear to know when to give up, even when he's been rumbled. Not only a nutter but also thick as pig shit...

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 17/10/2013 14:19

If you have a smartphone download an app that allows you to block numbers/see if you can block numbers on your phone. While you can still see his texts you are still giving him headspace...

Jan45 · 17/10/2013 14:52

You are doing the right thing, don't engage with him, he's trying to manipulate you.

GatoradeMeBitch · 17/10/2013 18:30

Cut him off, block his number. He's just trying to string you along and guilt you back into the relationship.

If worst came to the worst and he did commit suicide, it would be his choice, nothing to do with you and nothing you could prevent. But it seems like attention seeking and melodramatics at this point.

Flip