WWYD - Have just discovered my sister isn't my sister.

[AdmiralData]

Hello. Some may remember me from a thread about my Dniece and will have a rough idea of my crazy family. My biological father buggered off twenty years ago (not a problem, I have a very dear Stepdad whom I love to bits) who had many many affairs when married to my mum. I discovered today that that behaviour worked both ways and that my sister is actually my half sister. My biological father doesn't know nor does my sister (with whom I have had a slight falling out). My stepdad thinks she deserves to know but my brother thinks it is best left unsaid. I am Anglo Catholic and living a lie does not sit right with me, I honestly do NOT know what to do. Please help. Thanks in advance. :)

Forget that you ever heard anything. It's not your news to share.

Let this sleepy dog lie exactly where it is. It's not your lie to live and it wasn't your stepfather's to tell. She's still the same person whatever combination of genes she happens to have.

I wouldn't see it as making a difference to your relationship but I do think she deserves to know.

So you still share a parent then? She's still your sister then, isn't she. Keep it to yourself, it's not your news to share.

I think she deserves to know. How bad was your falling out and how sure are you that you are correct with this finding?

Thank God for that, I was beginning to think I was doing something really bad by not telling her. I thought my original instinct was right. Thanks all :)

I'm a bit slow OP and can't follow who's who, but is there anybody in that lot apart from you who should be telling your sister?
If so, I would urge them to tell her as everybody deserves to know the truth of their roots. Also, I know not first hand that it is awful to find this information knowing that others knew and didn't tell you.
It is not for you to tell unfortunately especially as you have fallen out atm.
I know you can't forget, but just know there is nothing you can do about this. for you.

idespair - my sister tried to beat up my mother at my wedding. I know for a fact she does not share the same biological 'father' as me.
morethan - I also know albeit not firsthand the effects that this sort of thing can have on a person unfortunately, it happened to my mother, history has repeated itself. I appreciate your understanding.

If you're on bad terms I think telling her would be a disaster. It would be like the ultimate smackdown and you'd look appalling as well as hurting her desperately.

The person who should tell her is your mother or your stepdad, not you. I'd stay well out of it.

I'm sorry you're in this position. It must be really difficult. Families, huh.

I know that my Aunty is not my grandad's biological daughter. He's dead now. I've thought about this long and hard and have decided it's not my place to say anything. If there are people around that are more closely related to her than you are, maybe you could talk to them about letting her know. It's their decision rather than yours.

My mother doesn't speak to my sister, they hate each other. My sister slept with my stepdad (I realise how utterly fucked up my family sounds but please don't judge because I am in a horrible predicament). My brother is ignoring this news and I think he has a point tbh, ignorance is bliss right? I am in the middle of apologising to my sister for her crashing my wedding just incase she finds out on her own and needs my support. mineofuse I truly feel for you xx

I agree that it is not your place to tell her at least until you are on much better terms. But if you can't bear the secret alone. talk to your priest. That is what they are for. Under seal of confessional he will advise you morally and certainly tell no one else

youtetoast I considered telling my priest! I knew that would be a good idea. Thank you for this help x