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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No one else will want you because you have a kid!?

36 replies

Playerpleeeese · 02/05/2013 15:45

When I spilt with my ex last year, his parting shot was....no one else will ever want you because you've got a kid, your damaged goods.

I've been single for about 6 months and am happy like this, but do worry about the future and wether this is true.

Do guys really not want you because you have a child? I have my own house and job, I'm financially independent, ex and myself spilt custody 50:50 so I have spare time, I still have friends/social life. DS is 5.5 and a happy laid back kid.

So am I really damaged goods?

Does anyone have any success stories to share?

All of a sudden this is worrying me today Sad

OP posts:
Playerpleeeese · 02/05/2013 18:32

dryjuice he also used the virgin line on me!! I mean wtf?? He used to drift off into a day dream and when I asked him what was wrong he would say '

All my ex girlfriends were virgins, your lucky I'm with you because your not'

we are in our early 20's! I've never came across someone so young with this attitude!

OP posts:
Betrayedbutsurvived · 02/05/2013 18:33

I've been married twice since I spilt from daughters father, just celebrated my tenth wedding anniversary on Tuesday. I have a single friend with a 12 year old son, and she has to fight men off with a shitty stick. He's talking bollox!

Beckamaw · 03/05/2013 20:43

Nonsense indeed!

I was a recently separated Mum of 2 when I met DP. I was out with childless friends who were climbing all over him. He is a few years younger, and blooming gorgeous! So, I stood back and talked to the 'less interesting' friend, in order to bolster their chances.

After a couple of hours, the ringleader of my group of friends flounced over to me and said 'it's fucking shit. He reckons he fancies you! I've told him you have kids and he still does.'

Ha ha! He was grinning at me from across the room, obviously aware of the conversation. He walked over, we talked and the others skulked away.

That was nearly 4 years ago. We have a baby together and are planning the wedding.
So there! Smile

Lovingfreedom · 03/05/2013 20:53

Got two kids...took me about 3 months to get into online dating after split with ex. Met a guy straight away. He's childless but the fact that I have two does not deter him at all.

Lweji · 03/05/2013 20:57

He was probably lying or his previous girlfriends lied, or they were really young. Shock

SirBoobAlot · 03/05/2013 20:57

The more you post about him, the more of a twat he sounds. You're well shot, and you're going to be just fine without him.

MushroomSoup · 03/05/2013 21:57

I had 3 under 5 when I met DH 11 years ago. Now I have 4 under 16!

ScumbagCollegeDropout · 04/05/2013 03:41

2 young DCs, childless BF doesn't seem to mind Wink

Your ex is talking complete shite.

WaitingForMe · 04/05/2013 03:52

I don't know any single mums. All of those no longer with the father of their (oldest) kids have new partners.

Ledkr · 04/05/2013 03:59

Nonsense op.
I was on my own with four dc when ex left us. I was 34 and had no shortage if dates and the odd relationship (one for a year) then when dd was 5 (4yrs after x left) I met my now dh. I kid you not he is gorgeous and lovely and ten yrs younger. We have been married 7 yrs now.
He always said he'd not date anyone with kids but if you fall in love you deal with anything.
Just enjoy being single and the right guy will come along.
Your ex was just being a knobhead.

Madamecastafiore · 04/05/2013 04:00

I was damaged goods.
Been married to the lovely man that took on those damaged goods for 7 years and expecting dc3.
XH did tell me for years that no one would want me, I was ugly, fat, had baggage (Dd) etc etc, 10 years down the line he is still sad and single and I am gloriously happy.
So take heart, you'll find happiness with someone who deserves you when the time is right.
Enjoy the space in your bed and only doing yours and DCs laundry until then.

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