I am in an unhappy marriage. I have a 2yo DD.
We got together at uni and after a whirlwind romance I got pregnant. Before the pregnancy and for the beginning of it things were blissful.
A few months into the pregnancy, I found out he had cheated on me with his ex gf and had been sending messages saying stuff about how if I wasn't pregnant they could be together etc. I wanted to leave then, I confronted him and he begged and pleaded with me to stay, and I did, because I felt like I didn't really have any other option and I wanted to give things a chance for the baby.
During the pregnancy while we were sorting out a house to live in together, his family offered to rent us a house they owned but this wasn't really practical and I also didn't want to feel under their control, especially as I didn't know them well yet. He didn't seem able to tell them this though and although as far as I was aware he'd declined the offer in fact he hadn't said anything, then when things got awkward he was passing messages between me and his family (who wouldn't speak directly to me for some reason) and he even tried to trick me by saying he'd found a house and what did I think, when I said it didn't sound practical either it turned out it had been the same house and he was testing to see if I was turning it down just because it was his family 
To be honest at this point I was already thinking I'd made a huge mistake, but felt like I had to keep trying. As the pregnancy progressed we bickered and grew further apart. I think I tried to kid myself that it was me being hormonal but really, we just weren't compatible.
At the birth, he couldn't handle the stress of it and left me (I did consent to this at the time but I was off my face on the drugs and I feel he shouldn't have gone). After the birth, although he was fantastic with DD and did all the cooking etc. he didn't really show me the care that I needed, especially as I was really finding it hard. He made me feel awful for getting frustrated with DD when I was finding bf excruciating and was exhausted from lack of sleep.
When DD was a couple of weeks old he lied to me about having a meeting with a tutor at uni and met up with an old flame in secret.
I am really anti smoking around children and I was militant about this when DD was tiny, and despite knowing this he started smoking again in secret. I found out and kicked him out (maybe a slight over-reaction due to hormones, I'm not sure) He did take me seriously and stop smoking to his credit.
He proposed to me, and it felt wrong, but I said yes.
When planning the engagement party, he said that he wanted to invite the old flame he'd met up with in secret weeks after DD was born. He asked in front of his mother so I felt like I couldn't say no without looking like a jealous bitch (nobody knew about the cheating). I did say later that there was no way she was coming.
We've just carried on not being right for each other, growing further apart and more and more bitter. I don't love him, I'm almost certain. We hardly touch each other except for the rare occasions where I try to rekindle things and it feels awkward and wrong.
We got married sept 2012 and I really don't know why. I spent the reception dancing with my friends and my dad and although I kept asking him to come and dance with me he chose to spend it with his workmates. The honeymoon was pleasant enough because we had DD and it was nice to get a chance to spend uninterrupted time with her.... but we had sex once and I only really did it because I felt like I was obliged.
I feel awful. I don't want to break up a family, but I don't want DD to grow up thinking this is a normal, healthy relationship. I don't feel that he loves me, but I don't think he's admitted this to himself yet. I tried to break up before the wedding but he cried and the conversation just sort of trailed off and wasn't mentioned again. I don't want anyone to get hurt, in an ideal world I'd tell him how I feel, he'd say he didn't love me either and was relieved I'd brought it up and we'd separate amicably and share custody 50/50. Because he is a great dad and DD loves him, I would not want to get in the way of that.
I just really want someone to step in and make decisions for me. I don't think we can fix this relationship and to be honest that's not really what I want anymore. I want to leave but I don't know if that's selfish of me.
Oh god, I've really waffled on here, thanks for reading if you're still with me!