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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What do you think is worse: EA or a one night stand?

27 replies

Uppatreecuppatea · 05/03/2013 20:32

Saw an interesting debate on some morning tv programme when I was
skiving working from home about what was worse: your DH having a long and involved EA or a one night stand.

I would think the EA would be worse. A one night stand (for example, a deeply regretted drunken fumble) to me would be far preferable to a sustained email, text and meeting-for-coffee relationship in which a deep bond was formed.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Saltpig · 06/03/2013 20:09

EA definitely.

Slippersox · 06/03/2013 20:52

Many years ago my DH went on a business trip and there was a big drinking culture amongst his associates at the time.I later found our after some rumours and he decided to come clean that inappropriate behaviour had gone on with the guys and and the women on the trip.He had a drunken snog and then was followed to his room and offered sex.Maybe foolishly I believed him that they didnt do the deed.He was so drunk he was ill and sent her packing,but it came close.I actually believe sex didn't take place.He's a useless drunk and wouldn't have been able to get it up anyway.
I was still pretty furious at the time, but decided to move in and not dwell on it.
However almost 15 years later cue mid life crisis and a friendship with a very flirty business contact that I knew about in passing,but unknown to me involved lots and lots of daily texting and meetings at lunchtime that were not necessary to either them for work.She knew all about me ,problems we were having with parents and a DC which were very stressful at the time.I knew nothing about her.He never lied about his whereabouts, but lied by omission for months about the extent of their friendship.He knew it was crossing boundaries and had become inappropriate.
I can tell you the latter has been so painful and far harder to come to terms with and will haunt me forever even though nothing physical took place.EA far worse for me.

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