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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Absolutely disgusted/stunned this ever happened to anyone else?

74 replies

frankycard · 16/02/2013 11:10

Way TMI is coming but I have name changed and need to get this off my chest.

Internet dating...First weekend with new man, respectable, 50's polite and somewhat shy.

In bed for the first time.

He pesters me relentlessly for an@l, insists his ex loved it? and offered use of a douche, whipped out 3 vibrators, and suggested I use one on/in his backside.

I obviously left but still in a state of shock, he accused me of being repressed.

WTF is all I keep thinking

OP posts:

Report

ImperialBlether · 16/02/2013 11:30

Repression is always a value judgement, so don't worry about that. He'd be repressed about a gang of men having anal with him; we all know what we like and what we don't want.

badinage · 16/02/2013 11:32

Heh. You didn't even have to tell us he was into porn, it was so obvious. Did you know that beforehand?

Lovingfreedom · 16/02/2013 11:32

Agree with cogito it's not what he's wanting but the way he is demanding. Sex should always be fully consensual no matter how 'normal' or how weird, crazy and dirty someone else might regard it. You are never obliged to do something cos it's the done thing or cos an ex liked it.

frankycard · 16/02/2013 11:33

Yes I know see the porn link, he likes slim blondes with no hair>>>retch

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 16/02/2013 11:34

Avoid like the plague. He sounds nuts.

merlottits · 16/02/2013 11:39

I had a date with a man who when we got intimate told me that the only way he could 'get off' was if I inserted a coke bottle in to my arse. Yes, really. I'm assuming the 500ml ones and not the 2litre but he didn't specify
I had lots of normal dates and have a lovely DH now but yes there are some weirdos!

merlottits · 16/02/2013 11:41

Strangely enough I still live in the same town as this man and he is now married. I can't help stare at his wife...

foofooyeah · 16/02/2013 11:44

Sorry I am laughing my head off at the thought of that poor mans wife with the coke bottle up her jacksy - perhaps she likes it too!

badinage · 16/02/2013 11:44

Lesson learnt then? Screen out the porn losers and misogynists in future?

Lovingfreedom · 16/02/2013 11:45

Lol merlottits?you could have had some fun with that....you should have agreed to the coke bottle thing but explained that you could only get off if he first put on a blonde wig, smoked a cigar and ran down your local high street in lame shorts shouting 'now then, now then'

maleview70 · 16/02/2013 11:48

A man who wants anything shoved up his arse is weird full stop.

maleview70 · 16/02/2013 11:50

Unless gay of course :)

LadyWidmerpool · 16/02/2013 11:51

maleview Now, now, that's a bit silly, isn't it?

Bogeyface · 16/02/2013 11:53

Well I wondered if there was some underlying......issue tbh!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 16/02/2013 11:53

No-one else think the OP's experience could easily have become sexual assault and find this man not just weird but alarming?... Just me then?

BookWormery · 16/02/2013 11:54

Oh dear OP. don't let it put you off meeting other men though - plenty of lovely normal ones out there!

Lovingfreedom · 16/02/2013 11:56

No I don't agree maleview but I find that men who demand things sexually or who are into humiliation as with the coke bottle are best avoided cos they are entitled pricks.

Wewereherefirst · 16/02/2013 11:56

Maleview- it's not weird really.

On a first weekend together it's quite disgusting, especially his attitude. There's nothing wrong with anal, but it has to be done with mutual trust, and someone who doesn't like it isn't repressed at all.

He's clearly got a blurred reality.

kittybiscuits · 16/02/2013 11:57

maleview silly...now there's a surprise! I'm wondering if he might be protesting too much?

OP he sounds hideous. What are you going to do?

youfhearted · 16/02/2013 11:57

the quiet ones seem to be the worst, poor you.

Bogeyface · 16/02/2013 11:58

Cogito you could say that about any sexual encounter though. Just because his preferences are a bit different doesnt mean that he is more likely to be an attacker. The man that raped me was my BF and was into normal vanilla sex.

Lovingfreedom · 16/02/2013 11:58

Yes I find this man's aggression much more alarming than his sexual preferences. OP had a lucky escape.

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youfhearted · 16/02/2013 11:59

vanilla

Wewereherefirst · 16/02/2013 12:01

The fact that he was very bullying in his attitude is alarming, if OP hadn't had been so strong to say no, I dread to think what would have happened.

Blackden · 16/02/2013 12:01

Definitely don't agree with maleview. Lots of men like anal stimulation.

However, the pestering here is very disturbing.

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