A quick survey. Say 'eye' if you DH has not had an original idea for at least 5 years/

[carocaro]

You know what I mean, a drink out, a trip to the movies, a family trip somewhere for the day, even a suggestion of a fucking DVD, an idea the does not involve watching QI on a Friday night or Match of the Day on a Saturday night with a Sainsburys £10 indian take away box. Something simple that does not take much thought. I feel like I am living with a marshmallow, an inert object, prod a little, reponds with a dint then poofs right back into the same lump of nothingness. Talk about set in his ways, so BORING. We do do stuff but only upon my thoughts and organisation.

He was in London for the last 3 days, I asked him to get me an Evening Standard (we used to live there and I like the paper) they give them away free now but no, he did not even manage to do that.

I am off to check his pulse and his brain wave activity.

This sounds very tiring- is this a big change or was he like this when you met him?

My husband is the opposite and has 100 ideas a day all of which he wants me to do, I find that rather tiring! I guess we don't always want what we have got.

My DH is not too bad on the ideas front. We've got a different problem. Frigging housework. But I love your metaphor and the style of writing. How do you check a marshmallow's pulse?

My DP is not that bad in that it would be a real Indian takeaway.

Sorry, I have no words of wisdom. I have been at my mum's with my 2 DC for a week I've had the grand total of 1 phone call and I think that was so he couls speak to my Son who is 5.

I'm not sure what's happened but when I met him I was 27 and he was 24, he pursued me I was living with someone who he insisted I broke up with within the week as he adored me, the feeling was mutual. He was the one constantly thinking of ways we could have optimum fun- I have never felt so alive as that time.

Roll on 8 years and I have only heard from him once this week and I don't know if I even care.

Sounds like you despise him - have you articulated to him exactly how you feel about his passivity?

Would he be horrified/shocked to read your OP, or is the situation so bad that he would simply shrug?

Something drastically needs to change in your relationship. Maybe he needs a massive wake up call. Perhaps he is unaware of how deep your frustration with him lies.

My dp is like this. It is making me quite sad at the moment as I've tried all ways to change the situation but I don't think he realises that the problem is as big as it is. I'm only 32 and I feel resigned to a life of boredom

I've got a marshmellow of my own...!
I posted in Relationship earlier today about him. Its infuriating & i wonder where the man i met 13 years ago has gone!

Lots but they are mainly mine!

I will say something like "Ooo shall we paint the dining room florescent green" and he will agree dismissively and then two days later he will say "Ooo shall we paint the dining room florescent green" and be really pleased that he has come up with an idea of something to do :D

Don't actually want a florescent green dining room...

Um, he's not to bad. We rented a dvd last week. He wanted Men In Black III, which I knew would be pants. Men In Black I was excellent, it kinda went off the boil with II, but so he wouldn't feel that I got my way yet again I accepted his suggestion. Yup, it was rubbish and I fell asleep whilst it was on. Who knew ?

I didn't say anything.

Anyway, he suggested we book next year's holiday and insisted we book it before that resort sold out. So, that was a good idea. Also, I suggested going to a music festival next year and he was all for it. So, as usual, it all plays through.

Aye indeed. My STBXH didn't have an original idea for, wait for it, the 22 years we were together. Endearing at first, I thought he was laid-back, easy-going, non-controlling etc, but oh how booorrringi t becomes being 100% responsible for every single aspect of your lives. And how deliciously refreshing it is to be without that extra child in my life for the last year!