My ds8 hasn't seen DF since 5 years old. When ds became more verbal at 6 years old he saw a man in swimming pool who must have triggered ds remembering DF and the physical abuse he had from DF age 3-5 years old when DF used to visit him from abroard at Grandparents house. Thankfully there was only a view visits. Police CPU involved about to start interviewing and ds disability SW said I was making it up re payback for no maintenance
This I thought due to DS curse of fab memory due to his ASD he would never forget as even in June this year ds said 'When I am older I am going to kill my dad for being nasty to me'.
This evening ds asked for Apple MAC for Xmas..I explained I had no money and I finished by adding daddy does not have any money to help buy everything you want either and ds said 'Who is my daddy?'
:) :) :)
I replied saying Daddy lives abroad and has no money to come to see you (couldnt tell ds real reason ever!).
The relief is HUGE and the guilt I have because I missed the signs...well I did ask Paed why ds (non verbal at time) was headbutting on returning from every visit and I was reassured it was 'change' with ASD and I thought I was being paranoid so let it be, boy I was knocked sideways when ds eventually disclosed everything!
Ds has forgotton everything I think as didn't even know who DF is! This a huge sign ds is now secure and settled as contact will never happen again. Feels like a bad chapter can now be shut tight as my baby is happy and not sad over DF actions in past