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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He told me he loved me - but he was drunk. Did he mean it??

21 replies

FluffyToeNail · 28/09/2012 16:47

After a heavy night of drinking, boyfriend of (then) 2 months said he didn't want to say he loved me as it wasn't something he said lightly ... however he finished this with "but I do love you".

He's not said it since and I've not brought it up at all.

Do you reckon he meant it? or just drunken rambling?

OP posts:
deleted203 · 28/09/2012 16:48

How long ago was this? If he hasn't mentioned it since and it's been more than a month I reckon it was drunken rambling.

rainbowinthesky · 28/09/2012 16:49

Are you 6? How on earth do you think people on an Internet forum can know this. Why don't you just ask him?

pictish · 28/09/2012 16:49

Could be either.

Could be a case of being too shy to tell you normally, or maybe it was a the booze talking.

After two months, I'd say booze. Two months isn't long enough (imo) to be declaring love.

JaquelineHyde · 28/09/2012 16:49

You can't be sure either way.

It could and probably was just drunk ramblings.

However, a bf of mine once told me he loved me after far too much to drink and he is now my dh Grin

If neither of you have felt comfortable to raise it I would say drunk ramblings.

pictish · 28/09/2012 16:50

Just to add - at the age of 37, if my bf of 2 months told me he loved me, I'd run a mile.

Mypopcornface · 28/09/2012 16:53

I totally agree with poster above and may I add that at the age of 37 is my boyfriend spend a night getting drunk I would also run like the wind.

Lovingfreedom · 28/09/2012 16:54

...does he act like he 'loves' you? That's more important in my book than saying it.

FluffyToeNail · 28/09/2012 16:55

Time of the month rainbow?

everyone else - thanks for the opinions! Grin

(popcorn, seriously? people at 37 don't get drunk?)

OP posts:
Mypopcornface · 28/09/2012 16:55

I'm not saying he has an alcohhol problem but I personally at the age of 37 wouldn't get involved with a man who can't control their drinking.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/09/2012 16:56

Were his eyes both pointing in the same direction when he said it....? And how do you feel about a man so emotionally constipated that he needs alcohol to lube the bowels?

Mypopcornface · 28/09/2012 16:56

But that is just me I don't like drunk people amnd wouldn't consider a relationship with one.

FluffyToeNail · 28/09/2012 16:57

Freedom - he does, he's lovely to me and during that night he said he'd wanted to tell me a few times that he loved me but thought it was too soon to be saying it. There have been times when we've been in bed and he's stared at me for a few seconds as if he wanted to say something but then changed his mind. Probably just a bit of lust at the moment! This was about 3 weeks ago btw (when he said it).

OP posts:
Mypopcornface · 28/09/2012 17:00

What??? 2 months and sleeping together? Tut tut tut

FluffyToeNail · 28/09/2012 17:02

LOL Popcorn, you're winding me up now, surely! Grin

OP posts:
Lovingfreedom · 28/09/2012 17:11

As a beautiful, 18 year old Italian boy said to me many moons ago under a blue sky and a crescent moon 'what is the meaning of love'?
I thought I knew that night...but turns out I didn't....and I'm still not sure! lol.

More important that he is coming up with the goods for you in the relationship...and you define 'goods' as you want - sex, making you laugh, helping you, surprising you, being kind and generous, buying you presents, great company...whatever it is. I'd trade any of those things for some creep breathing the three small words to me non stop as he tries to get me to let him move into my house/borrow my credit card/take it up the Garry.

(well, unless any beautiful 18 year old Italian boys are reading this...what??? It's legal!)

Mypopcornface · 28/09/2012 17:12

Lol. Any romantic plans for the weekend?? I'm out of the dating scene for ages, you must be living very exciting times with a new boyfriend and all.

FluffyToeNail · 28/09/2012 17:14

Take it up the Garry Grin absolutely love that!!

No romantic plans, just a shit load of alcohol. I'm 31, maybe I should grow up lol

OP posts:
ObscuredByClouds · 28/09/2012 17:58

Oh, I'm not sure. How long ago did he say it?

Personally I don't see why two months shouldn't be long enough to know if you live someone!

ObscuredByClouds · 28/09/2012 17:58

Love, not live...

fizzfiend · 30/09/2012 04:54

sometimes it just feels nice to say I love you, especially when you've lost your inhibitions. My ex and I used to agree that the Pet shop Boys were right "you only say you love me when you're drunk."

You know if he loves you...actions speak louder than words.

rumbelina · 30/09/2012 07:25

When I was 35 my boyfriend told me he loved me after 4 weeks. We were both drunk. Reader, I married him.

He accidentally said 'marry me' after we'd known each other a week. We sort of pretended it hadn't happened but it didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I just knew.

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