I am worried that I am going to sound like a fruit cake, so please bear with me. I am feeling down, sensitive, have started taking st johns wort as v low.
My husband has know this clique of frineds for about a year now. He works with 2 of them so sees them day in day out. They seem like perfectly ok people, but the problem lies in the fact that they are not my friends or the sort of people I warm to and most of all feel comfortable with. Over the past year there have been lots of social occasions/parties, and I have tried to become friends, they are nice to me, vice versa, but I just haven't clicked with them, and have tried.
I have quite a lot of my own friends, most of them have young children so aren't into the late party stuff, and a few single friends, who, like me, are gentle, quite shy,but we get on really well and feel relaxed with one another.
The problem lies in the fact that I think I have become phobic.
Just the mention of one of the guys in particular makes me shudder, and my dh adores him!!!!!!!
I cried myself to sleep last night worrying about the years and years of social occasions yet to come. Most weeks it seems like we are being invited to giong out with them.
Last weekend, dh and I had a dinner party for two of our closest friends. A couple of hours before dinner, my dh says that they are having a bbq over the road/party and we are welcome to go over with the friends too.
I was so stressed by this and got into an arguement with dh, felt really crap and annoyed. Just feel we always have to see them.
Hope I don't sound too pathetic, its so hard to explain how I feel.
Also last night dh and I were discussing hols... i had been looking at portugal, but flights expensive. dh then pipes up, how about lake Garda, Italy. It looked lovely and was cheaper, then dh said, thats where so and so used to go with his family when a child... It made me feel crap, I am filled with dread all the time, and think I have a phobia towards them!!!!
I dont "fit in" with this group, I tense up and struggle to make conversation.
I have tried to explain how I feel, dh does't get it.
Since dh turned 40 I feel he needs to go out every weekend. i like a mixture of one night in, next weekend a night out.
I think I am jealous of his relationship with this particular guy, he's funny etc and mr socialite, whereas I am a bore!!!!!