why does he complain about the mess when it is tidy and how should I respond?

[MightyNice]

this is an ex (an off on off sort of ex) I have a child with
my house, it is small and chaotic compared to the giant empty Trust House Forte style mausoleum he inhabits

but anyway have realised that the few occasions that he starts ranting about how messy I am (IN MY OWN HOUSE) are always preceded by some sort of blitz so actually it is by my and the house's usual standards very tidy - when it is at its worst we can all stand around smiling about how hopeless I am

I never know what to do/say, only have two settings - meek and apologetic or trying to stab him in the neck with scissors. Usually I try to organise things as far as possible in such a way as to avoid him coming in to the house at all.

"I never know what to do/say, only have two settings - meek and apologetic or trying to stab him in the neck with scissors."

That's the crux of it, right there. Go and do an assertiveness course, then kick his sorry ass to the kerb sistah.

Someone's left a whining man-shaped steaming pile of shit standing in my hall way!!!!"

Thankyou Cogito that gave me a much needed laugh x

Stop sleeping with the whinyarse, do the child pick-up on the doorstep and voila problem solved

'Just like that'

hehe

As long as those sharpened scissors go in, feel free to do it any way you want OP. It'll sure feel Mighty Nice for you

ok, just like that it is

(I WANT to use the 'man shaped piece of whining shit' line very very badly but it is a bit provocative and I probably couldn't pull it off)

thanks everyone

Now that line is in your head, you'll find a way to use it - or to use an adaptation of it - for sure.

Please report back when you've cut pulled it off