New relationship and he can't perform

[DissatisfiedDeirdre]

I've met someone a couple of months ago who is lovely, gorgeous, sexy, wonderful etc.

We have tried to have sex a couple of times and it's been a disaster. He doesn't get fully hard, loses his erection during intercourse and can't ejaculate. He has put this down to having had too much to drink on the occasions we've tried to have sex but I don't think this is really the problem. He doesn't seem to realise he's not fully erect so I think he's possibly always had this problem. I can hardly tell him what other penis' feel like though.

He takes citalopram which I think is probably the main cause of his sex issues.

I could really fall in love with him but I don't want to be in a sexless relationship. He is staying over tonight and although I'm really looking forward to spending the evening with him and sharing a bed I am dreading the sex part.

The kissing and touching is lovely, but it either leads nowhere and we go to sleep (and I feel frustrated) or we have 10 minutes of thrusting, apologising and then awkwardness. I am being sensitive but it is obvious that he feels under pressure to perform and I feel frustrated, which are both making the problem worse probably.

We don't just do penetrative sex but I can't climax with him because I don't feel turned on while he is so obviously not aroused.

I've suggested seeing his GP which didn't go down too well.

It's a bit harsh to end a relationship for this reason especially when everything else is so good. It's a problem for me though and as far as I can tell it's not much of a big issue for him.

Only read this tonight. Sheer joy! But am dying to know where you are (roughly) - might you pm this info?

Long ago I got in with a similar group, we called them the toddler group. Me and one of them fell in lurve, although he said he would love to give me a hard time, his long term alcohol use had also reduced him to being Mr Floppy.

Ah, happy days

'Mr Floppy said several times that if we had anal I'd be screaming 'I'm coming, I'm coming"'
not that you'd actually want to run the experiment (just in case ) but I'd imagine that, were you to call his bluff and say yes to anal he'd have to quickly backtrack and find some excuse not to

He sounds like an utter chimp

"he said he would love to give me a hard time"

That has reduced me to a fit of giggles. Don't really know why. I am in a silly mood and should be in bed by now.

I will PM you with my whereabouts PinkPussy.

Yes, can you imagine him trying to stuff his pathetic cock up a no entry orifice. It's not like he would be organised enough to bring lube either. Stupid, stupid man.

He was always on about doing more adventurous stuff and it put me right off. I'll do doggy, give a go at a blow job, get on top ... whatever, but not for a man who loses his erection constantly. I already felt undesirable enough without giving him the opportunity to blame his lack of potency on my body/technique. I felt thoroughly ugly and beastly and ghastly during and after sex with him. I did NOT want to take any more responsibility for those disastrous encounters.

Maybe I am a bit of a prude but I've been used to sex with men who appear to actually be enjoying it regardless of position/activity. It takes me a while to get comfortable enough to stop feeling self-conscious. I'm really glad I wasn't more adventurous now as his moronic friends would have had even more wank fodder to 'discuss'.

Yeah, I know how it sounds TH. It is violence I know but in the time I've known him he has never hit anybody, let alone a woman, let alone me. He does smash things up when he's angry and he can be spiteful, he's no angel.

DGM used to throw crockery, I have punched a hole in the (luckily I suppose) plasterboard, and smashed things (trouble is I also cleared up - tip: never smash a milk bottle in anger)

I think Deirdre draws a valid distinction.

No I didn't punch I kicked (have a Buffy the Vampire Slayer complex, obviously )