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not-cheesy ways of getting back in the nookie groove

7 replies

newbrooms · 23/01/2012 14:01

have name-changed for this as DH knows my chat name.

We haven't had sex for months, although when I ask about this he says he'd like to, but will say, "last night you went to bed earlier.. we were tired...".

I lost a lot of confidence because he has been very judgemental about my size/weight in the past (I'm an in-proportion size 16, am getting fitter) and has never had a very high sex drive, and doesn't ejaculate easily. It has got to the stage where I was finding his approach insincere, when he does initiate sex, it always seems a bit cheesy and forced - he'll say in a "casanova" kind of voice with his face right next to mine "would you like to make love tonight?"

I just feel awkward now, as if him initiating sex is his response to feeling obliged; and because I've lost confidence, I don't want to initiate sex myself.

Just writing this down makes me realise this is a vicious circle, and I just need to kick start the process. But I'm a bit stumped for ideas - just looking at the Rigby and Peller/Figleaves website makes me feel demoralised, and again, that I'd be doing something that risks feeling obvious and silly.

So - how to start small - but genuinely sexy...?

OP posts:
nizlopi · 23/01/2012 14:16

When you go to bed, go to bed naked. Then when HE gets in bed, he finds a naked lady already in there.

Men are simple creatures. Over thinking it is just going to make him less likely to want to 'try'. Just nude up. Seriously.

newbrooms · 23/01/2012 21:39

thanks Nizlopi

giving this a little bump up now it is wine time on MN ... :-)

OP posts:
DaydreamDolly · 23/01/2012 21:41

Cock ring with clit stimulator and lube. Always a turn on to try a new sex toy IMO, may not be your thing tho.

birdsofshoreandsea · 23/01/2012 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Admiraltea · 23/01/2012 22:08

I personally like going to listen to some live music...nice and dark so no body con issues, stand not sit so you can "accidentally" bump into him a bit and hold hands ...makes me feel about 16 and a bit naughty.

There's always somebody older than you there...

And you can have a kiss on the way out when the cold air hits....lovely Smile

Admiraltea · 23/01/2012 22:10

(frantically running off to book some tickets...DP looking happy)

NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain · 23/01/2012 22:11

buy a massage bar from lush and give him a massage get him to return the favor

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