SHIT- have houseguest this weekend and DP not talking to me due to money rows and I am stressed

[porcamiseria]

DP and me have not been getting on recently, we are argumentative at the best of times and factor in money problems, he's a SAHD, long holidays with no actvities, always fucking raining, money problems, me stressed at work etc etc etc

we had a ruck on Tuesday as he wanted £1 to get his lottery, I said NO as it was my last £2 (and had spent a fortune that day as was Ds2 birthday) and I said he could have waited till the next day to get his tickets

cue a huge row which is still ongoing now, and to make matters worst my best friend is staying this weekend for 2 nights and he is going to be in a fucking strop and it will be awkward as fuck

he is a SAHD and is constrantly resentful around money. I give him as much as I can afford every month, plus shopping plus have given him a few £1000s from my savings to help pay off work on his house. plus he now gets money from renting his house

The issue is I use my savings/overdraft for "treats", he does not touch his savings and uses every penny he has to pay off the debt on his house. so to him it looks like

i have treats, he does not
I wont even give him a quid

to me it looks like I give him alot of money, and if I choose to use my savings/overdraft to have treats its my affair, and why should he always sub off me when he does have money, he just chosses not to spend it

its a fucking mess. and now we have my BF staying, I wont see her for ages now as she is about to have her second baby, and this weekend will be fucking shit and he is IN A FUCKING MOOD

sorry if this is a rant just need to get off chest cant tell anyone in RL

So, you give him money and you pay for everything but he has his own house which he rents out and uses the money for himself/his own debts - is that right? What about the house you all live in now it is yours only?

he owns house abroad and I own house in UK

he is SAHD for our 2 small pre-school kids so does not work at all

until recently he had NO incombe so I gave him money, and then he took out a loan to pay off a refurb on his house

now he has rented his house out, so he gets a small sum very month which also goes towards the debt

were it not for this debt we would be on very even ground, but with debt it lands like he has NO spending money, and I have loads

its a but fucked up

Is your bloke going to be awkward in front of your friend, or will there just be an atmosphere. Can you try talking to your man to ask that he doesn't embarrass you over the weekend as your friend is staying. If he isn't up for that, then you can only tell your friend and apologise on his behalf and do the best you can. She probably knows about the way things are between you two doesn't she. Can you go out with the kids so that you are out of the possible tension in the house.