Some frank opinions/advice please re no money

[firth]

I am at wits end with DH and have been thinking that it is over however crunch will come when I tell hin that I do not want to transfer home property into joint names so that we can remortgage and release some equity from the property. He obv will not like this and am dreading his reaction because he has been somewhat vile to put it politely of late in any event (reason I dont want to transfer in the first place as cant see marriage lasting if this continues). We are going away on holiday which will see us with no money left in the pot. Am vicious in circle have three v young children and know that if i ask mum she will help out financially but naturally DH would be against this too. Come on give me some straight talking.

Ok, I think you're right to feel reticent about not wanting to transfer (I assume its in your name) into joint names. If you feel the marriage is in trouble you need to think ahead as to what would be best for you and the LOs long term.

So he's being vile, wants you to do something you're not happy with yet doesn't want you to ask mum... no wonder you're worried.

My plan would definately be on my back foot and defo hang fire on any name transfer. His reaction to this may give you the answers you need.

goodluck x

But surely if you are married he will have some claim to house anyway?

Hmmm NickR has a point..
I'd get a free hour with a solicitor so you know exactly where you stand wrt to that. In anycase yo want as much equity left in house as possible so that if you do split and its divided in whatever way, there is a bigger pot to divide up if that makes sense. So don't transfer names to take money out.

Yep, BH, in similar-ish situation. My STBXH owns our house but because we are married I have property rights, ie at least half the value of the property and possibly more as I am rp for DCs. However, OP if you have concerns about the future of your relationship certainly don't remove any further equity from your property or you'll just be sharing debt, not resources.

If I have this right (and please check)

Even if you are married, if the only name on the house deeds is yours then only you can remortgage. While you are married he can't get his hands on any equity without your consent. You cannot cash in his pension, nor access any savings in his name, without his consent.

Should you divorce then as part of the financial settlement your husband will have a claim on the equity in the house, how big would depend on how the solicitors fight it out.

I suggest that you also dip into MoneySavingExpert forums to get some idea about finances. Some of the posters are extremely kind and well informed (but be careful, some parts are a bit more abrasive than others). hth