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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

have decided to leave and need some advice re housing

20 replies

needadvice10 · 25/06/2011 21:11

have posted here before but have namechanged.

to cut a long story short: i decided to go. yay!

just don't know how to go about housing. we (husband incl) are living in our own house atm (mortgaged that is). I have rented before but that was before I had children and when I was still working fulltime (so money was not an issue).

I need to find a place now for myself and my two gorgeous children (one of them has SN - therefore the move needs to be well planned). I only work part-time; my wage is crap. I don't count on my husband in terms of financial support.

where is the best place to go for finding a flat. assume I am too poor for estate agents to be considered? do I go to the council? sorry if I am asking some stupid questions but haven't been in such a situation before.

TIA

OP posts:

Blu · 25/06/2011 21:16

All strength to you and your new life!

It sounds as if it would be a good idea to book an appt at CAB, or a solicitor. If you are married, you will need a solicitor to divorce, anyway.

You might find you have entitlement to the house and to enough support to stay in it - and that with CSA / maintenance / benefits and your money you might be able to stay and get him out by divorcing him! If you can't afford to buy him out you might get the right to stay in the house until the children are 18, at which point it could be sold and he get his share.

Seek informed legal advice!

Original poster

needadvice10 · 25/06/2011 21:27

oh, he is not going to leave. never. ever. or only after a long legal battle. I just want to get on with my/my kids life iyswim.

have just been looking a bit though some of the other threads here and I saw mentioned a couple of times that the council won't help with housing if I have my own house? did I get this right?

OP posts:

KateonMN · 25/06/2011 21:37

Hi
I left the family home - I used my visa to pay months rent and deposit on a house for me and my girls.

I work part time but am better financially on my own. I've messaged you Needadvice

HowAnnoying · 25/06/2011 21:49

I am in the same situation as you, I spoke to Housing Benefit, was told to qualify for HB the house I own with DP has to be on the market or he has to be in the process of buying me out, also if you have savings of over £16k you wont qualify for HB.

Original poster

needadvice10 · 25/06/2011 22:00

oh really? buggers. what is a woman with little kids supposed to do if she can't stay at home but partner refuses to leave
that's crazy :(

16k in savings is nothing I have to worry about. have about £300 saved up

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 25/06/2011 22:03

See if council do rent assist scheme. This can help with deposit/advance rent

rockyroadtoruin · 25/06/2011 22:16

Oh crap is that true about HB? I'm in the same situation

FabbyChic · 25/06/2011 22:19

The council will not house you as you have a mortgage, you have to be free of the mortgage to be eligible for council housing.

You need a months deposit and a month in advance, and need to find a landlord that takes benefit tenants.

GypsyMoth · 25/06/2011 22:22

Once you've found a LL who takes hb, you may find you also need a guarantor. Would someone do that for you?

Original poster

needadvice10 · 26/06/2011 07:45

if I can't get council housing, would I be still eligible for housing benefit? don't really see how to pull this off without. as said, I wort p/t but already my childcare bill is exceeding my earnings (so would going full-time as both my kids are under 3). I only keep my job as I am thinking long-term. I haven't got family or anybody else who can support me financially. only the ctc/wtc + housing benefit will enable me to get out of here. without HB i would be stuck.

OP posts:

mummytime · 26/06/2011 08:05

Go and talk to the CAB, or get a free introductory legal session with a lawyer. I would also talk to any care professionals involved with your child. Women's aid is another possibility.

You do have a legal right to the house you are now living in, and with an SN child I would think the legal fight to get him out would be easier, overall, than trying to move.

Snorbs · 26/06/2011 08:06

Housing benefit is paid whether you are in a council property or a privately rented one. Your local council website will be able to tell you how the maximum they will pay. The rates are called the Local Housing Allowance and they're based on the number of bedrooms you need. This information can also be found on the directgov website.

The amount of housing benefit you receive will also depend on your income. The number of hours you are working is significant. If it's over 16hrs a week then you will get more financial assistance, eg help with childcare costs included in WTC. I've recently discovered that my local council (Hertfordshire) will take childcare costs into consideration when calculating income for housing benefit payments. Effectively this means that if I'm paying out for childcare then I'll get a bit more housing benefit provided it doesn't exceed the LHA maximum. I don't know if all councils do this and, in Hertfordshire's case, it appears that you need to apply for it on a different form from the standard Housing Benefit form.

As well as Housing Benefit you will probably also be eligible for Council Tax Benefit (it's usually the same form to apply for both) as well as a 25% reduction in council tax if you'll be the only adult in the new house.

All the above does only apply if you don't have significant savings, though, and I'm afraid that a house is regarded as such. Shelter has a lot of good information about housing issues and can also give advice over the phone. I'd recommend you give them a call ASAP.

Good luck!

giraffesCantZumba · 26/06/2011 08:12

not sure but wanted to wish you all the best on your new home etc

Original poster

needadvice10 · 26/06/2011 09:12

thanks everybody. seems there are more obstacles than I thought off (eg mortgage - hb issue). will make an appointment with cab and see how i get on!

OP posts:

want2sleep · 26/06/2011 09:25

Hineedadvice I have found too that owning own house is a nightmare:( I wanted to leave when ex attacking my home as terrified and ds has been terrified who has Sn's. I would have lost my home if I left...which is my only future for ds as they stop help with mortgage and council tax as they do hb and council tax for rented place instead.

Is you ex aggressive as you can get an order to get him out? Otherwise I do understand how frustrating this situation is for you. It feels like prison sentence being trapped somewhere or worse for you with someone who you want to be away from.

Original poster

needadvice10 · 26/06/2011 10:14

he is not aggressive as such. he is abusive but "only" (yes, I know) verbally, emotionally and financially. but DC and I are not in danger iyswim... would never get an order and he won't budge and leave. really frustrating... esp when I think that I have been working & paying taxes for 15 years and never claimed benefits and now I really would need some help and cant get it :(

OP posts:

want2sleep · 26/06/2011 11:40

could you take a career break from work as you get longer off having child with disablility. Then apply for council house and you may get seen faster?

Then once settled return to work at reduced hours to get WTC and HB towards the rent and still have a job and focus in life.

I really do feel for you (hugs)

want2sleep · 26/06/2011 11:45

I feel totally stuck in my position too and it stinks the system it actually stops rather than helps people:(

People tried to help me here but whatever way I look at it I'm stuck...and houses not selling round here to add to it.

You must be at your wits end espically as you have now decided to leave...maybe to plan and do it slowly esp for your dc with SNs as moving around a lot could case great stress....it would with my ds.

memphis83 · 26/06/2011 11:52

My sister went throught this, she was verbally and metally abused as were her kids, she walked out and rented eventhough they had a legal document that she owned 70% of property, she went to the housing association office and they sorted her with a loan that paid her first months rent and deposit and she paid it back weekly at a price she could afford, they part funded her rent with HB too, a lot of private rentals now except people claiming HB, I think it is differnet for all councils but think it will be worth speasking to local housing office and CAB. Good luck!!

Original poster

needadvice10 · 26/06/2011 11:57

I am already doing p/t. career break would not sort anything out for me tbh. would still have the mortgage and therefore could not move out as I would not get HB

I will see. I am pretty calm and keep my cool and I am sure I will find some way - just seems it will take a bit longer. I think I am in a far better position that those women who have to leave without preparation due to domestic violence.

hope you get yourself sorted soon. sounds very frustrating as well!

OP posts:

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