OK XP is leaving because he is/has been having an affair...what to tell DCs?

[SlightlyMadSpook]

XP leaving. OW is staying with her DH because (in part) her DH does not appear to know the truth. XP still appears to be seeing OW and is using my DCs as an excuse to meet her.

DDs currently blaming me for "not letting daddy come home"

DTDs are 10, DD3 is 5.

Would you tell them why he has to leave?
If so what would you tell them, and on what level?

DCs all know OW and her family (and still put expectations on me to let them socialise with her DCs)

Really don't know what to do for the best. My gut feeling is that telling htem is best in the short term but not in the long term, and I want to make the right decision because once I have told them, if I tell them I can't take that information back off them.

Any thoughts or perspectives welcome to help me make the right decision.

Think you and your ex should discuss, and agree what to say. Would be terrible if the dc got differing and accusatory versions.

I'd suggest saying something along the lines that you and your ex don't love each other anymore and don't want to be together. Would NOT say anything specific about the reason for the split.

i certainly wouldn't tell them the entire truth as yet.

i think it is fair to say that daddy doesn't love me any more, and i'd rather we didn't see sarah anymore because i'm feelinga bit cross with her...its a grown up row, and you don't need to know the details.

really sorry you're going through this.

There was quite a lot of advice given on solost's thread when she and her H were telling their DCs.

Can't remember the exact outcome but some people were suggesting that they say Daddy doesn't love mummy any more because he now loves someone else and wants to live with her instead. He will always always love you etc etc.

I know all her DCs know about the OW (and don't want anything to do with her), but then it might be different because they don't actually KNOW her, she lives 100 odd miles away.

Sorry, maybe someone will remember exactly! Good luck.

Thanks sufficient...will look for thread.

I really don't knwo what to do for the best and any opinions are helpful.