Just an update as a couple of people have asked how I got on.
Basically even though my name is not on the deeds I am entitled to 50% of the sale price ( minus lawyers and moving fees) or, if the house is not sold, 1/3 of the value price (to take into account the costs that would be incurred if H did sell the house at a later date.)
The courts would try to ensure that DD would be provided for as close to the same as if we remained together as possible. Although it is hard to prove what that would be as she is young and he can say things that are false.
He is not required to pay for me, but is not allowed to allow me to struggle with child care and work. Basically it has to be viable.
Anyway I don't want the house to be sol. It would be detrimental to his income for him to re build the set up required for his work.
So lawyer said that best way to go is to make an unofficial request and offers to begin with.