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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

1000 replies

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 03/12/2010 16:22

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome. Xmas Smile

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

OP posts:
MIFLAW · 06/12/2010 00:40

"It is very important that no one feels powerless, or fated to feel in a certain way."

Is it? What if, by feeling powerful, they keep giving drinking one more try, because this time they're going to learn how to control it through willpower?

I've seen several people die of that kind of "power".

dementedma · 06/12/2010 07:52

venusandchristmars - I'm in Fife and yes, it was a cold and nasty place to be on Saturday night. BTW snowing here AGAIN!! Day 6 of not getting to work, unbelievably!

venusandchristmars · 06/12/2010 08:19

Morning everyone.

On power and powerlessness:

I am not powerless. I can be weak, but I can also be strong. And in relation to alcohol the things that are making me strong are the things that I am doing day after day, one day at a time. Getting up in the morning and saying 'Today I choose not to have a drink'. understanding more about my habits and temptations, the triggers for my drinking, and then developing and acting on tactics that will helps me (alternative drinks, planning how to stay sober). Being in the supportive company of others who struggle in the same way as I do - posting on here, reading others people's posts, reading books about other people's experience of alcoholism, sometimes going to AA meetings. All of these things help to develop my (previously weak/non-existant) non-drinking muscles.

But, like MIFLAW I know that in the past I have been powerless once I have started to drink. Even after a period of not drinking, it doesn't take long before I'm back where I started. Having the first drink, and wanting more, chasing the elusive high, getting up the next day promising to do better and by 4pm (sometimes earlier if a business lunch was on offer) be 'relaxing' with a drink. Will it always be the same? I don't know, but why would I risk it? I've been there often enough to know what the consequences have been so far.

My sister has a nut allergy - when she goes out at Christmas time her ability to graze at a buffet is severely compromised (in fact she doesn't eat from a buffet at all). She has not had a full allergic attack for a long time, but wuld she risk it for a vovl-au-vent? No. (even though she might desperately want to).

My Mum is a diabetic. When she goes out at Christmas time, there are many foods that she cannot have. She knows the consequence.

I know that my alcoholism is not like an allergy, but I do perceive it as a mental ilness (and I think there is evidence to demonstrate the impact of alcohol on the 'pleasure - centre in the brain of alcoholics) and I treat it with the same respect as my sister treats her allergy, and my mum treats her diabetes.

For me (and I accept that this is my personal approach, and the model that is helpful to me) I am powerless over alcohol and the effect it has on my brain. By treating it with seriousness, I become powerful in protecting myself from it.

Hmm... big thoughts for early on a Monday morning. have a good week everyone.

venusandchristmars · 06/12/2010 08:21

Yes - I'm just across the Forth. Can't see Fife this morning - bloody snow here too! However, the forecast looks as though today is the last day of it, and Thursday and Friday even start to warm up a little.

sleighrideinthursnow · 06/12/2010 09:38

Morning, lovelies :)

Thank you for all your wise words, and....really for just being there on Saturday, when I was wobbling.

Saturday about 5.30pm really gets to me, for some reason, be better when the nights get lighter maybe. Anyway, 5 weeks and 5 days for me, NOT boasting at all, but it gives me a bit of strength just to write it down IYKWIM, and it's all down to you, my airwave fairies, whoever you are, and wherever you may be Smile.

We went for a long walk yesterday afternoon, and I did some baking, yes JWN, I think it's a by product of being sober Grin. Immense irritation with DH has worn off, although he didn't come to bed until midnight, and then got up at 5.30 to watch -paint dry- cricket.

Waah, just seen the time, have to go to work.

Speak later.

PointlessTheLamb · 06/12/2010 10:35

Morning, everyone. Just marking a place - it's hard keeping up with you lot sometimes!

CJCregg · 06/12/2010 10:45

Oops, sorry - that was me. Forgot to namechange Xmas Blush

CJCreggnog · 06/12/2010 10:46

Time for a Christmas name, anyway - you can have non-alcoholic eggnog, right?

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 06/12/2010 10:50

CJ - Xmas Grin I was sat here thinking I wonder who Lamb is??

Morning Brave Babes. It's freezing here and the trees have been dusted with a crisp, white frost. They looked so pretty.

Packing for the hospital today and making sure that everything is sorted for DH in my absence!!

Not sure if I'll come back to the house in one piece or not!!! Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Zanyisntsantacanny · 06/12/2010 11:00

MOrning Brave Babes.

Are you in hospital for long Mouse hope Nemo is OK

I managed to only have 2 glasses both last night and Saturday night which is pretty good for me. Bloody car wouldn't start again though so Dad's taxis again!

Hope everyone is OK today.

RedTinselMoomin · 06/12/2010 11:03

Good morning all!

Welcome to the newcomers and welcome back to the returners. wasindie I was so pleased to see you back on the thread.

God it has taken me so long to catch up with everyone this morning! Really busy at work which doesn't help my thread reading (God, how rude to be busy at work and unable to post on MN?!!!)

How's everyone doing this morning? I am bloody freezing!

Zanyisntsantacanny · 06/12/2010 11:09

I know what you mean Red, somethimes I am trying to post something and then my boss walks in, god yuo would think he owns the place. Oh yeah he does Xmas Grin

RedTinselMoomin · 06/12/2010 11:25

zany Morning! I know, what gives my boss the right to come over to my desk and ask me work-related questions?! Xmas Grin By the way, are you referring to the boss who keeps trying it on with you??

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 06/12/2010 11:31

We are in for 24/36 hours Zany. Just for some utterly pointless tests for Nemo's reflux.

Never great to be in as it means no food/break/sleep or even a wee for me.

And worst of all, no MN!!!!! Xmas Shock

OP posts:
desiretochange · 06/12/2010 11:33

Morning all, like Red it has taken me most of the morning here to catch up on all the posts.
This weekend has been the first weekend in years months that I haven't had a drink and strangely enough I can honestly say this morning that it actually feels like I had the weekend off, if that makes sense Hmm

desiretochange · 06/12/2010 11:36

Mouse, hope all goes well in hospital, I remember when my youngest daughter had meningitis and I stayed in with her for almost 5 weeks, and as you say eating, sleeping or even just having a break was never an option!!

RedTinselMoomin · 06/12/2010 11:41

mouse when do you set off?

desire well done for getting through on the weekend! Good work. And I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you have had a weekend off. Sometimes drinking is such bloody hard work!!

Zanyisntsantacanny · 06/12/2010 11:54

Yes it is the same boss Red and thanks for reminding me its my works do on friday Xmas Grin Xmas Grin

Lets hope the tests will end up helping Nemo Mouse you will be missed seen as no MN

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 06/12/2010 11:55

Red - tomorrow morning. As long as they have a bed forhim, which I can't confirm until the morning. Xmas Smile

desire - it's hard isn't it? The last time he was in PICU was awful but at least because of the continuous 1 to 1 care, I could get a break and sleep at night. He was 'paralised' for most of his stay.

The wards are a totally different ball game. And the one we are going to tomorrow is very old and cold. Lots of layers required!!

OP posts:
jesusthisstableiscrowded · 06/12/2010 11:56

morning everyone!!

hope its not too bad for you mouse and that our little fella is not too distressed by it all!

sorry, have to be really quick, snot fair really!, i am the boss and i still havent got much time to mns today!

off to AA in a sec, part of my christmas strategy to try and get in as many meetings as possible!

btw, i understand totally dsesire, i get that feeling of having a 'weekend off' still!, in fact, staying sober seems to make the weekend even longer, im up and doing, not laying about feeling sorry for myself!

laters babes - have to dash!

Zanyisntsantacanny · 06/12/2010 12:19

Just found a link on cutting down on drinking for Xmas www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1335902/How-make-sure-Christmas-isnt-merry.html may be worth a go

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 06/12/2010 12:36

Xmas Shock NOT FROM THE DAILY MAIL!!!!!

Xmas Grin
OP posts:
TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 06/12/2010 12:38

Sorry Zany - I should explain that the Daily Mail is a bit erm, 'It's snowing, we're all going to die so go out and buy as much water, milk and bread as you can' kind of a newspaper IYSWIM??

Well, in this house it is!

OP posts:
RedTinselMoomin · 06/12/2010 13:14

mouse am totally with you on the Daily Mail. It actually makes me really angry to read it. I sometimes do just to get the blood flowing Grin!

Zanyisntsantacanny · 06/12/2010 13:20

I have to admit I posted the thread before I read it. Sorry

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