The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

[TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome.

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

Wasindie Yaaay!

I can still remember the first few times I was able to pull the duvet right up to my ears, because they had both been sleeping through for a while.

Long may it continue

Morning Campers

Yey - I got some sleep and not too much sweating and no horrible dreams.

Got to dash but just wanted to say GOOOOOOD MORNING [FGRIN] X

morning!!, nice to see you are back to your normal/loony self thurso!! (i take it the pool is outside? ), i think you can still count week 8, last week was a right bugger for you!

wasindi - my dd was a poor sleeper and the first time she slept through i was terrified!, i can remember 'banging' into the room so she woke up or at least moved - i have to say, i soon got used to the extra sleep!

silver, get this old heap fired up!!, its bloody freezing!, im sat here with my leopard print throw looking like a beryl cook picture!

btw, i am back in love with dh this morning - he had bad dreams last night, was shouting and very distressed , dont know what bought it on but i cuddled him all night! this is really unlike him, he says he never dreams!

morning all - silver lovely that you still sound bright - another meeting planned for today? same one as yesterday, or something different?

wasindie - vebus sounds like a bad cold, or some kind of ancient hippy VW campervan - I hope it is the latter, wouldn't mind that!

thurso can I ask if you enjoyed your little bit of drinking last week? I only ask because I had a 'sniff' of a glass last week, and I thought it smelled horrid, it made me wrinkle up my nose. Now I am pretty sure that if I'd started 'tasting' it I could have got through that phase and got into it again but I was surprised by how revolted I felt.

Have a good day everyone xx

Morning Babes.

Confession time. I drank last night. I drank 3/4 of a bottle of wine. I'm sorry that I did because I feel like deep fried dog shite.

I was hoping to block out my meeting yesterday. He asked about my past and my XP. Asked about the abuse. All of it. And last night, it went round and round and round in my head.

So I'm sorry to say that I thought a drink would stop it. Help me to pass out so I could sleep. It didn't. Not at all a suprise, I should know better by now. Sorry Babes.

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Wasindie - I love Rebus!! Ken Stott is great at gritty acting.

So pleased you got some sleep, clearly you had The Sleep Fairy at your house last night.

As predicted, I didn't sleep well now my old meds are out of my system. So a night of pain and 'head fucks', 'what if's' and other horrible thoughts.

venus - you are so selfless and kind. I read your post about coming here to look after Nemo to give me a rest.

Do you know what, I'd love to have you all here, eating home made mince pies (no brandy cream I'm afraid) and drinking hot chocolates, warming yourselves up by the wood burner.

It would be fab. I'd need at least a months notice though. To prepare myself!! My anxiety levels would shoot through the roof if you all just turned up!!

JWN - I love Beryl Cook. Sorry DH has a rough night. Stress. He's obviously worrying and it's presenting in his dreams.

I went through a phase of nightmares and night terrors (which is what it sounds like he had last night) when Nemo was first born and I had to leave him in SCBU.

God, that was hell. Having to leave him.

thurso - I'm off to see my GP later. I am going to tell him what this quack said and just how worked up I'd gotten before hand.

He actually made me feel so stupid for getting worried. I was so cross with myself.

Anyway, done now. It just reaffirms my reasons for not wanting any form of counselling.

Give me the pills and I'll carry on thank you very much!!

Hello,

back from a very cold swim (yes, outside!), but very refreshing .

Venus Do you know I can't remember if I enjoyed the first glass of wine on Thursday night, I just decided I was going to drink, and so I did, but I obviously had some sort of brakes on, as didn't go mad. I just thought what the h*ll, terrible news, etc,etc.

On Saturday night, yes, I really did like it, my old tipple of icy white wine, I loved it, so drank the rest of Thursdays bottle.

However, not anything at all since, and haven't wanted to. I do have in my head MIFLAWS post some while ago, that (excuse me if I get this wrong) he has had bad things happen whilst he has been sober, and I know that I don't want to go back to "dealing with" things, by dealing with them through eyes tinged with sauvignon blanc.

Also, for anyone thinking about changing their drinking habits, can I say that there are soooo many benefits, as if I need to tell you.

My eyes are clear, my skin is peachy(ish!), I know that if I have a disagreement with DH, it is reasoned , I am sleeping differently, but on the whole, better, and I just feel a whole lot better about myself.

Big things, or even everyday niggles get so out of proportion when one is hungover, or squiffed. There are no minuses to not drinking, as far as I can see.

I am going to a big dinner for work, on Friday evening, and have asked for soda and lime as an aperitif, and coffee afterwards (one of those things where one has to choose the meal beforehand), and I am really looking forward to it.

BUT we will just see how today goes, that's all I ever do.

Sorry for the mega post, but I don't think I have ever posted just what changing my habits has meant to me.

I really do feel that it is all down to finding this thread.
JWN thanks again for having the courage to start it all. Patron Saint of babes

Mouse baby, no fom you please, and please don't apologise, you are a STAR, and a very twinkly one.

Just going to check on DC then back.

Slinks onto the bus with a huge hangover

Morning

Will I ever learn!!!

Morning Zany

So, what happened with your X? IS that why you are hung over?

thurso - thank you xx

Morning everyone. Strange how the brain works, have been going through a lot of shit and trying to not let it get to me but it took a friend of one of my daughter's commenting on a picture of my daughter with Mary Byrne (from X Factor)- after my daughter jokingly said she was her new ma -"Ha .. thought it was your ma" to leave me crying. It totally threw me (is this what they mean by saying "the straw that broke the camels back".
Know it probably sounds petty but really got to me:(

Nothing happened I just found it so much more upsetting than I thought I would. He proposed again and was actually in tears when i explained why I won't get back together with him. He conveniently has forgotten about all the awful things he said to me over the last couple of months. We drank far too much and am now sitting at work crying.

For your own sake Zany stay away from him, look how a couple of hours (and drinks) with him has left you feeling.

Sometimes desire we put all our efforts in being strong over the big things that go on that the smaller comments/things get to us the most

True Zany!

Zany - Spot on. My abusive XP used to get me like that. Side swipe my emotions.

desire - Red is off work so that's she's not posting.

Thanks Mouse, will you let her know I was asking for her and hope she feels better soon. How are you feeling this morning?

Mouse have sent you a msg.

Off to work now.
Hope all hangovers gone soon.
Much love to all.

Thanks Wasindie

Miflaw, I apologise for being personal.

The reason I feel so strongly about the fallacy of alcholism being a disease is that a vulnerable person might actually think that they do have a disease and that they are powerless. This might lead them to think that if they have one drink they might as well drink a bottle of spirits and then die.

I had a lightbulb moment when I found out that the entire disease theory is based on a Phd which Yale University insisted he rescinded.

I am finding out now that in 'rehabs', patients are given powerpoint presentations based on that same rescinded Phd. I am not sure that the 'HCP's doing these presentations even realise themselves that the original research is not only wrong, but dangerously wrong.

(Oh, just to get personal Miflaw, I used to have tutorials at LMH with someone called Clive can't remember, and his unique selling point was to constantly constantly say, 'Where's the evidence?' over and over and over. He also used to GROPE and stroke legs of attractive female students. Looking back, it amazes me that he got away with it. Bizarrely, in the same term I had tuts with him, I also had tuts with his wife, at Jesus. All a bit David Lodge.)

Forthe

I had forgotten that you were a fellow alumna. I am almost certain I know which Clive you mean; I'm glad I only had to deal with Colin and Mary ...

I do realise why you feel so strongly about the disease principle and know that it is with the best motives in mind. BUT you have to recognise that, just as it could harm someone (I might as well drink the bottle) it could save a life (right, so I have an illness - that means willpower is pointless; that's why I have been failing all these years; that means, rather than top myself, it's all right to seek help.) Also, whether or not it is an illness, it can be a useful MODEL for some people. So all I was asking is that you flag it up as an opinion, rather than being quite so strident about it being a fact, and let these vulnerable individuals do what is best for them.

As for the outing, forget it - I'd rather it hadn't happened, but it doesn't bother me much. However, there are lots of people on here who it WOULD bother; people who are still so ashamed of the fact that they can't deal with their own problem (doubtless they still think that unaided willpower is going to do the trick if they just keep trying) and still so convinced that everyone is watching their every move (newsflash - they really aren't) that the very thought of being identified by someone in RL is enough to make them lurk forever and not ask for help. So, if I could be the last one, I'd be really happy about it. I can't remember if you are in AA but obviously I am; and one of the reasons I like it so much is that it's called Alcoholics Anonymous, not Alcoholics Tell All Your Mates.

(Incidentally, this deeply incoveniences my partner - she is rightly convinced that I have met famous people in the rooms and would KILL to know who they are!)

Anyway, thanks for the apology; now I say let's all move forward, shoulder to shoulder, focussing on the similarities and not the differences.

"let these vulnerable individuals do what is best for them"
Little bit patronising MIFLAW

Whilst I can see that the visualising a MODEL of alcholism as a disease can be helpful to some people, I also think (and I know this will be disputed, but I feel strongly about this, and I am not going to stop saying it) it kills people. People die in AA, as you know, and I believe that they die because they have swallowed the idea that they have an actual disease, not a model of a diseasse, an actual disease, over which they are powerless, and if they take one drink, they believe, and therefore act out that belief (last 4 words in bold, if I could) and drink a bottle of spirits and die. And people in aa may well say, and I have heard this several times, that he/she wasn't working a strong enough programme, when in fact the dead man was working the programme so thoroughly, believing that after the first drink they were powerless, that they killed themselves through alcohol poisoning.

There's more but posting this in case I lose it.

Surely the argument for whether or not alcoholism is a disease can be dropped now, it is descending/ascending into a debate between two intellectuals/alumni rather than people helping each other on a day to day basis, living real lives, "battle with the booze".