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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

1000 replies

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 03/12/2010 16:22

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome. Xmas Smile

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

OP posts:
jesusthisstableiscrowded · 14/12/2010 11:40

waits for whole thread to collapse in shock at finding a word jwn can spell!! Xmas Grin

Silverbaubleonatree · 14/12/2010 11:43

Damn JWN and I put 2 in at first then deleted one - why doesn't this thing have a bloody spell checker - grrrrr at being caught out Xmas Grin xxx

venusandchristmars · 14/12/2010 11:44

zany I have a question for you... what are you going to DO to help you cut down / take control?

The wise (if argumentative) MIFLAW says that will power alone is not enough, and I think that you have been finding that out for yourself. In fact MIFLAW says iit is as difficult for someone with an alochol problem to control their drinking by willpower alone as it is to use willpower to control diarrhea.

It sounds as though you are intending to cut down, but end up drinking the whole bottle anyway. Not surprising because once you've had a couple of glasses your willpower will be reduced anyway. That is why I (and some others) avoid having the first drink. If having a day of total abstinence is not what you want to do, and if you have demonstrated that buying a bottle of wine means you drink the whole bottle, then why don't you buy a half bottle? Just ONE, so that is all you have in your house. There you are, your drinking halved in one easy step.

Have you tried that? Do you want to try it? because if the answer to both of those questions is 'no', then it doesn't actually sound as though you WANT to reduce your drinking. It certainly sounds as though you think you SHOULD cut down, but unless / until you really want to, it doesn't sound much as though your habit is going to change.

Fortheverylasttime · 14/12/2010 11:45

Mouse, speaking out of ignorance here, but if I were a hcp dealing with your circumstances I would be handing out a Nobel prize to you. You are an inspiration to me. God only knows how you do it. And have time to help others. And have time to obsess re Matt C.

Don't mention matt cardle, though, that might just count against you in some way. Smile

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 14/12/2010 11:51

Will read back in a mo and reply but first....

Silver - I meant SS for YOU!! I think it was Noteven?? Went to A&E and the doctor contacted SS.

Would your GP contact them? That's what I meant.

Right, will go catch up and come back.

OP posts:
Silverbaubleonatree · 14/12/2010 11:57

OMG - soo sorry - erm I have thought about it but I think he would have done that the last time if he thought DD was in any danger - Oh God - got me thinking now - not sure what to do.............

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 14/12/2010 11:59

Thanks ladies for your kind words.

I'm keeping busy. Had to give up writing Christmouse cards, Nemo is trying to help!! Xmas Grin

Zany - ha ha ha ha ha! Brilliant. Xmas Grin

Forthe - thank you. Xmas Smile Sorry to be thick but what is a HCP?

Only 2 hours to go. I'm going to grab some lunch, slap a face on, tidy some more, and potter until he gets here.

Nemo is due a nap soon so I'm hoping he does sleep today. DH is taking over once the doc arrives.

OP posts:
Zanyisntsantacanny · 14/12/2010 11:59

Your right Venus in hat although I am intending to cut down I am probably not really trying hard enough at the moment. I always seem to find a reason/excuse.

Although I have tried to drink less whilst out when someone offers me a drink I should say 'I'm trying to cut down' instead of 'I'm Ok for a drink' as I get bought another anyway because that is what people are used to doing when out with me.

Although in my defence falling onto the boss's knee is the sort of thing I would accidently do at the beginning of the night Xmas Grin

Fortheverylasttime · 14/12/2010 12:01

Mouse, I knew what you meant and stand by my Nobel prize comment.

Silver, if you read back a bit on this thread or the last, you will see what Mouse is on about. One mner contacted an alcohol charity who then got in touch with ss.

Fortheverylasttime · 14/12/2010 12:02

Health care professional. Is what people who work in health who are not doctors now call themselves, I think.

desiretochange · 14/12/2010 12:02

Mouse not sure but would imagine HCP stands for health care practictioner?

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 14/12/2010 12:02

Silver - do you see why I asked? I'm sure it was noteven?? She went to A&E.

Am I getting my Brave Babes mixed up? Anyway, it wasn't her usual GP who ever it was. He had no idea of history etc. so maybe as you say, if you have a good relationship with your GP, and he has helped you in the past, you can just get it all out.

I'm not sure if it's standard practice to involve SS now after what happened to the Brave Babe on here.

Does anyone else know????

Just thinking out loud. Sorry to worry you, sorry xx

OP posts:
TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 14/12/2010 12:04

Thanks Forthe. Xmas Smile

OP posts:
TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 14/12/2010 12:04

Last thread I think, not this one. I'll go have a look.

OP posts:
desiretochange · 14/12/2010 12:04

Am sure it was Noteven who was reported when she attended A&E Mouse

Silverbaubleonatree · 14/12/2010 12:06

got to go out for half an hour - will be back - he is my regular GP and I totally trust him.....

Fortheverylasttime · 14/12/2010 12:08

Noteven saw an out of hours doctor who she didn't know. I'd imagine a GP who knew her would have exercised more discretion. It would be nice to hear from a Hcp who knows what the protocol is. Because atm, it seems that the systematic involvement of ss would act against someone in need asking for help. Which is so ridiculous and wrong that it makes me want to put my head down the loo.

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 14/12/2010 12:16

Thread 14.

Forthe - yes, I agree. It would be nice to know what the protocol is.

I know that my GP has not involved SS but is that because Nemo already has a Socila Worker and an army of HCP?

I wonder.

Silver - if you trust him and know him/him you, then tell him. Xmas Smile

OP posts:
venusandchristmars · 14/12/2010 12:25

silver please do not be scared about telling your trusted GP. You are in the right place asking for help, and doing something about your drinking. Don't give yourself any excuses (I would have).

venusandchristmars · 14/12/2010 12:26

zany wasn't meaning to be harsh, and my post was in response to your one about drinking a bottle a night for the past few days not your Friday night story Grin

Fortheverylasttime · 14/12/2010 12:27

Silver, if you trust him and know him, you will be able to discuss this with him. I think Noteven had a bad exerience. I know which mner mentionned this in the first place and if I see her on a thread I will pm her to ask which charity it was.

Silver, please do not allow anyone to tell you that you have a disease, because you don't. No such disease exists. I am a great believer in self fulfilling prophecies, and I can tell you there is no evidence that alcoholism is an illness. A man called Jellinek made up this theory and Yale University asked him to rescind it.

In spite of this, many 'rehabs' still quote his work as if it had not been discredited. To give Jellinek his due, he did withdraw his thesis (he had to).

If anyone is told that alcoholism is a disease, please ask on which evidence. And let me know too!!

desiretochange · 14/12/2010 12:44

Does AA look on alcoholism as a disease ?

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 14/12/2010 12:53

Silver - I feel really bad for scaring you now. PLEASE tell your GP.

He knows you. He will help you, like he did before, but only if you are totally honest with him.

Forthe is right, it was a one off in noteven's case. Not her GP.

Sorry for spooking you.

OP posts:
MIFLAW · 14/12/2010 12:58

Forthe

I may be splitting hairs but you seem to be doing the very thing you accuse the disease model of doing i.e. presenting your opinion as fact.

Further, as I have already said on a few occasions, whether or not alcoholism is an illness, it is perceived by many sufferers to behave as such and so it can be useful to model it on that basis. Yet even this seems to offend you, to the extent that you feel able to instruct people not to do so, without considering whether or not it may help that individual.

Desire

Yes, AA treats alcoholism as an illness. Again, how literally you take this is down to you.

witchetychicky · 14/12/2010 13:02

Silver - it's hard to speak in general terms about protocol etc...as each situation is different - but health care professionals and social workers have progressed from the days (thank God) where people were viewed as inadequate parents simply by having drug or alcohol problems. It is their ability to provide safety, care and protection that is inportant - the same as for anyone else. People with really longstanding addiction to heroin, may still be able to be brilliant parents - as long as they can put the neeeds of their children first. When it gets difficult and services may have to intervene is when someones addiction takes precedence over everything else, including the basic needs and protection of their children.

Speak to your GP - be honest, I really can't see how you would have anything to be concerned about.

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