rowdy I bet your mulled apple juice actually TASTES nicer than the cider 
and well done for thinking of that and making the effort. Who knows, maybe someone else will be glad to have that option too.
thurso best thing to do is get it seen to quickly. I had a cyst (in the most delicate of places) several years ago that re-occured twice after the initial operation. I understand the sick feeling you get when you find somethig like that, and the seeming impossibility of thinking about anything else in the meantime. Is there anything about the way you've been learning to deal with alcohol which might help you over the next few days, for example - whenever you feel worry threatening to overcome you can you try the same 'HALT' approaches - eat something, recognise and acknowledge your anger, talk to someone, do something relaxing (bath, book, bed). Can you occupy your hands, your head, can you get emotionally involved in something else - watch the 50th anniverasy of Corrie? And of course come on here, pm us with your deepest thoughts.
Also I know what you mean about not telling your family, but I had a situation a few years ago when I was rushed into hospital and decided not to tell dd1 until it was all over (we thought it was better to tell her once we KNEW rather than passing on our worry to her). However it made her feel very vulnerable - she said that for a long time, whenever I was away from her she thought I might be in hospital again. I still think we made the right decision at the time, but maybe your family would want to know something.
mouse I have been around during the day, but haven't felt up to posting. Nothing major, just the feeling of the 'festive season' being around me, and knowing that part of me is desperately wishing I could join in the drunken antics, and another part of me feeling sick with rememberance, regret and general sorrow fro all the emotional crap that will have to be sorted in people's lives - just because they want to get pissed and have a'good' time.