The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

[TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome.

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

Mine too! I had no idea it was so widespread. The sheer joy of being able to say something like, 'I fancy Captain Hastings' (from Poirot), or something equally innocuous, without it causing a flurry or accusations. And the worst bit is, you have to try to ignore it, (or better, end the relationship unless he changes) because if you deny it, then that apparently proves guilt too. SO GLAD THAT'S OVER.

Evening everyone - just checking in as I try to stay focused on day 3 without drinking. No problem in keeping busy - things are really manic here just now.
I had the opposite problem with ex - he would often make jokes about him having an affair - it never crossed my mind that he was, and not just the one.

Really struggling so off to bed. Where did that posiitive sobriety go? But, I have babysitters booked for my next 3 AA meetings. I can't do it alone. I have been drinking.

Aww - Witchety xxxx

Thanks mouse it wasn't much fun at the time but I am so much better out of the marriage, and if he hadn't behaved so badly I would have stuck with him for ever, 'cause that's what I thought you did.
Glad to hear nemo is over his cold...hope you are both doing OK.

We are fine. I'm glad you are out of 'it' too sweetheart.

Life is too short to be unhappy. xx

I had an email from a friend yesterday that is in the last stages of a very aggressive form of cancer - she said that whilst she knew things had been really difficult for me over the last few years, that I should find some joy in every day as life is so precious....I'm trying to remember that and not take so much for granted.

Heading off for a bath and early bed - this evening has felt Ok with no booze....I need to stay focused though as that's when it sneaks up and bites me on the bum!
Night all
x

Night witchety - sleep well lovely. And your friend is right.

Sometimes though, you don't 'see' that until you are at risk of losing it all. I'm sorry about your friend.

I lost my best friend nearly 6 years ago to bowel cancer. I miss her. xx

Evening. I am not sure this is the right place to post so please feel free to tell me to go else where. I need to check/get opinions if others think my drinking is out of control. I guess some might say if I need to ask then it properly is.

I have drank to varying degrees over the years but have always drank daily (except when I decide every 2 years or so that I am drinking too much and stop drinking for 6 odd months - just to make sure I can stop) I also stopped while pregnant. About a year ago I was drinking one bottle of red wine a night, every night. I decided I needed to cut down and over the last year I have still drank most nights (but not all) Sun - Thurs I drink 1/2 a glass of red and at weekends I drink more like 1/2 a bottle. I drink to control my panic attacks mainly (and because I enjoy it).

I currently have not drank for a couple of weeks and have found it easy to stop with no cravings.

Is my drinking a habit or a need?? Do i need help with it or am I using it to help with the panic attacks but controlling it at the same time?... I feel like I have been drinking so long I am unsure what is normal any more.

Well, you're worrying about it, so I'd say you know that there's a problem, maybe?

Medically, it's not healthy to drink that much, and it's not healthy to self-medicate with alcohol (I do both). But I (and most of us here, though not all), found it hard to stop when we tried. That said, I think there are people who can stop for a couple of weeks easily.

If you are worried, I'd say how about trying not to drink for longer than a couple of weeks?

I do think it cannot be the best thing to use for panic attacks - have you been on medication for them at all? It sounds tough.

Personally (if this helps, dunno), I get bouts of depression and self-medicate, and I'm pretty sure it makes it worse in the long term.

Hope you are ok - you sound pretty down, if I've not said the right thing I'm sure someone else will be along soon!

Hey Googled

Nice to meet you. Can I start by asking are you taking any meds for the panic attacks??

Sorry, I've just realized I completely mis-read you with half a glass (not half a bottle)!

So I guess probably not medically unhealthy unless you're concerned about it creeping up to more gradually - but I tend to have alarm bells ringing when people worry and self medicate.

Thank you for replying Loud. Yes up until 2 weeks ago I was drinking (only) 1/2 a glass a night because the drink was making my panic attacks worse although they were getting rid of the attacks at the time of drinking. I never drink during the day and work full time. I think my drink is out of control at times and it can take me several months to do something about it but i am (or always have been) able to do something about it.I guess I was wondering if I was a functioning alcoholic or at lest had the potential to be one.

Mouse I do not take any medication for the attacks but am going to give them a try soon.

I enjoy drinking and don't want to give up forever.

Soory to post and run Googled

I'm off to bed Brave Babes. Feeling a bit weak still so off to get snuggled with DH.

Sleep well all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

X posted.

googled - go see your GP. I'm on meds for panic attacks and anxiety. There are lots to try or even no drug methods of delaing with attacks.

I'll be back tomorrow to chat more if you like. xxx

DoNot, I'm just trying to get this clear - are you saying you have periods of drinking a lot more than this, or are you saying you worry about drinking at all?

People have said to me before here, that it's scary to think of giving up 'forever' and easier/better to think, 'today I won't drink' and take it day by day. Might that be something you'd like to do? People post here day by day and it is very supportive imo.

half a glass of red doens't sound too bad to me, to be honest. wish that's all i drank!

Ok Mouse and thank you. Loud, yes I have periods of drinking a lot more. A year ago it was a bottle a night. I have drank every night for about 20 yrs. I can remember drinking 8 cans of beer in an hour or two after shift work just so I could sleep quickly (for about 2 yrs).

I think I am controlling it now but wanting to check if 1/2 a glass a night is what a normal person would drink or is it normal to only drink at weekends or is it normal only to drink once a month? - I just don't know what normal is. They say it is ok to drink 7 units a week - so should i got by that ? is it ok to drink 7 units every week?

Ah, I see. Sorry, was being less than intelligent!

The recommended limit for women per week is 14 units, and 2-3 in any one day. By that you are fine for units weekly, but half a bottle is perhaps on the high side. Personally I'd doubt it was a bad level at all, but I'm not a medic. It's more than 7 units though, isn't it? I'm assuming the 7 is what the doctor said.

I feel uneasy saying what's 'normal' and what's 'alcoholic' as it's not really a matter of units. And I feel uneasy because I don't know anything about panic attacks other than that they sound awful for you. But it would be wrong for us on here to suggest it's ok/ not ok to drink as you do - a doctor might know it was dangerous with panic attacks as a pre-existing condition.

Does that make sense? Sorry if I am being dim and that's not what you wanted. Hope you are ok.

I'm off to bed tonight too.
Day 3 for me too, Witchety

Off to be here too.

Google - I just want to add one thing. If you are uncomfortable about what you are drinking or why you are drinking then it's time to change. I wonder (and I'm new here, so this is only me wondering out loud) is that you've asked here, to here us all say 'Shit, half a glass a day... that's nothing' (I, personally, was on about 2 bottles) and make you feel OK about it.

Thank you Loud. I am ok just in a thoughtful frame of mind.

Dem - I do understand that my 1/2 a glass could be insignificant to some people on this thread (or even wasting people's time even posting about it) but it hasn't always been 1/2 a glass and I am so confused what is normal (or healthy) when it comes to drinking.

Night night rachel.

DoNot - I see what you're saying. I just don't think we're the people to ask. I know the govt. guidelines (which are 14, not 7?), but other than that ... gosh. No idea. MN in general isn't very easy to get a reading off either - there've been a couple of threads where someone loudly defended their drinking, then appeared on here/on a 'problem drinking' thread days later.

I'm sorry, but I think it's a medic you need to ask.

evening all!, sorry, im so tired this is just a quick post before bed! - googled - i would say if you are worried about your drinking then it is a problem!, imo, it dosent matter how much or how often, if you are unhappy about it then its a problem - btw, you are not wasting anyones time by posting here!, this is thread for people who are worried about their drinking, its the only reason we are here!

i have no idea what consitutes 'normal drinking', if i did, i would do it! fgrin], fwiw - i took no notice of the guidelines for 'safe' drinking and i can tell you now, now that i feel better i cannot describe how bloody rough i felt, FOR YEARS!!

sorry, have to go, so tired im rambling and making no sense!!

see you all in teh morning!

L XXXX

donot - at the moment it does not sound as though you are drinking an amount of alcohol that is dangerous to your physical health. But d'you know what struck me when I read your post was that it sounds such bloody hard work. The amount you drink may not be harming you physically but it doesn't sound as though it's really helping your emotional state.

I have previously managed to control my drinking (albeit for relatively short periods of time) and it was an effort. Every day I had to think about whether I was / wasn't allowed to drink and how much. To be totally honest it is a massive relief to me to wakr up today and to decide that I will not have a drink - no measuring, no controlling, no stopping after one. It's just easier for me to have nothing.

Have you tried replacing the half glass habit with another habit? An elderflower fizz, a mulled grape juice?