The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

[TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome.

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

Rachel, was just thinking about you, and thought you were out and about. What are you doing this afternoon? The best 'slogan' from these threads, I think, is, 'One day at A Time'. Don' try and think beyond that. Until tomorrow.

It's also assumed that drunk women in clubs are 'good for business'.

I think also, if I go to Sainsbury's, and buy my booze along with a trollery load of my lamb chops and green beans or whatever, the cashier doesn't think 'ooh, two bottles of red she's buying, the shock! Of course plenty of men do the week's shopping, but there's still an assumption that woman are buying for someone else. Certainly if I buy a case of beer, they won't think it's for me.

Sorry, biig cross-post!

Afternoon All,

Welcome to Rachel - apologies for flitting in to your first posts yesterday, hope you are getting through the difficult time. Can you make a hot chocolate or something that is going to consume part of nap time?

I am so far behind the posts that you've probably assumed I am out partying... Just to say that is not the case, I am working hard to try and fight my way out of a huge work / financial hole. I have worked out that if I give up sleep for a bit (surely working 4am - 6am each day is a good plan?) I can have Xmas off!

MIFLAW just to add that I appreciate the tough love. I think we need a balance on here you and help to provide that. I said once before that your first post to me made me cry and I am damn glad it did - part of me hoped that you'd all tell me I was fine and to keep drinking!

Right, I'd better get back to work. I wish I were joking but by my reckoning I will finish at midnight and then get up at 4 to start again...

Hi, Fortheverylasttime, we are going on a playdate this afternoon.

I am trying to keep afternoons really busy to stop any urge for a lunchtime drink.

Rachel can you have a snooze while the little ones are sleeping. I used to long to be able to do that when my DD was asleep but had a 2year old Ds running around!

Are you going to have something to look forward to and savour for your supper? (Joanna Lumley says she gets over stage fright by visualising something lovely to eat, like an avocado) Just make some sort of plan now for what might help you this evening? Non-caffeine hot drinks?

hi all, greetings newbies.
I'm lurking as don't have much positive to report on the drink front....but I'm still here and cheering you all on

Hey Ma:)

hi everyone venus and mouse thanks for your very sensible and kind words and advice. DH and I decided at lunch that this is the last time for him. he says he is going to make a change, but as with everything alcohol related there's thinking it and doing it. I have certainly realised how bad things are since I am controlling my own drinking, and I do feel much better for it. However, it means that DH then tries to find other ways to verbally abuse - a stupid incident yesterday for example, a pretty non existent stain on his shirt, or some other petty thing...

hey ma as well - hang in there lovely

bianca -

'However, it means that DH then tries to find other ways to verbally abuse'

Please don't stand for DH doing this. He is moving the goal posts. 'I do it cos I'm drunk and don't realise what I am saying' - not so, is it?

He needs to be made aware of how you are feeling, of how much his little snipes at you build up and up. Chipping away at you.

If he is serious about changing, then he needs to change whether he is sober or NOT!!

No more excuses. This has to stop.

thanks mouse

Sorry bianca - just read that back and felt like a right nosy old do-gooder.

I know from experience that it's so much easier to say, than to do. And it's also easier for me, because I am not you, this isn't my life.

It's yours xxxx

In total agreement with you Mouse, I was married to a man very similar to your husband Bianca and even though I have been separated for over 13 years the damage that this type of behaviour causes can stay with you for years, it erodes your self-esteem, your confidence etc etc!

i know my confidence is pretty much eroded in respect of this behaviour - i found myself desperately apologising to him last night on text and email - like it really was my fault - when it completely wasn't.

don't be sorry mouse - it was a real thanks not a sarcastic or silly one

on the plus side at least he has stopped insisting that I am having an affair

I was constantly accused of having an affair and only once in our whole marriage did he "apologise" for accusing me of playing away and that was when I was in the labour ward about to give birth to my first daughter and he announces that he believes she is his child

bianca (hi, btw, don't think I know you!), it sounds awful.

Hope it gets better soon - but I hate that he's got you apologizing for something not your fault.

Hello all, been really hectic this afternoon. And now it's nearly hometime! Hope everyone is OK and have good evenings x

bianca my soon to be Ex-H was ALWAYS accusing me of having affairs. And I wasn't. It's so bloody exhausting hearing that all the fricking time - you must know. I got to a point where I allmost wanted to have an affair as I was getting all the shit for it anyway!

Bianca please dont believe alot of the things your DH says about you. Obviously I don't know either of you but I do know what its like to be in an emotionally abusive relationship and it takes a long time to realise your not all the things you were told you were. Be strong and be kind to yourself if he isn't being very kind to you.

I was accused of having an affaif too desire even to the point where he asked my parents to babysit so he could follow me visiting my female school friends. Leaves you feeling pretty crap

It most definitely does Zany:(

Seems to be a common accusation!

Think it shows total insecurity on male's part but he will never admit that he knows you are not having an affair but deep down is afraid you will because somewhere in his twisted mind he knows he is not good enough for you !!

Very true. My XP would constantly make little digs/comments so he never said things outright but you doubted things anyway. He wanted me to believe only he loved me, my family didn't care and my friends weren't bothered. One thing that has helped me is talking to my family/friends about this now its over and I realise how much he twisted everyhing. It takes a very in secure man to do this to someone. Luckily I am now coming out the other side and you do get stronger.

Hi everyone,
Just dropping in. Low and tired and overwhelmed - I think it's because the move date is Saturday, a patient died on me today and have so much else going on including some major stressing about Christmas. Will be back later once DD in bed to catch up. Really really want a drink - but just need to sit with this overwhelming feeling, it won't kill me to do that.