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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

1000 replies

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 03/12/2010 16:22

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome. Xmas Smile

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

OP posts:
CJCreggnog · 07/12/2010 11:06

desire, no I haven't read the Allen Carr book. I know some people on here have recommended it, but doesn't it recommend controlled drinking? That wouldn't work for me.

sleighrideinthursnow · 07/12/2010 11:14

Desire How are you today?

I was thinking of getting the Allen Carr book about smoking, two an evening, halfway down the bottom of the garden, in these temperatures, seems deranged, to say the least!!!!!

I need the off switch for that.

Waitingfortheepiphany · 07/12/2010 11:26

It was exdrinker who recommended it highly. It isn't about controlled drinking. I have a copy of the allen carr alcohol book that I will send to anyone who wants it.

Thurso, Mrs Gee and Venus have put it so well about occasional drinking. That the mental energy thinking about it is not worth the 'controlled drinking'. I think MrsG reposted her thoughts on this thread. And then mouse does the very very occasional preplanned day release from the bus.

Wasindie, still thinking about your Christmas catering, and would like to defend Thurso against accusations of insanity on a thread that includes Wasindie's list of dietary requirements. Thurso's pool was heated. Wasindie is apparently spending Christmas as a short-order chef.

desiretochange · 07/12/2010 11:27

Am cold today Thurso strangely enough:) Just invested in pair of ladies wellies!!
CJ title of book is "easy way to control alcohol" and even though I am only about a third of the way through it I have a feeling that it's not about controlling your alcohol intake, it's more about questioning why you need alcohol at all.

desiretochange · 07/12/2010 11:30

Have you read it Waiting?

venusandchristmars · 07/12/2010 11:32

Hi all,

I can't remember who on here recommended the Allen Carr book - I know that several have read it. I have it, and it DOES NOT recommend controlled drinking. The title is "allen carr's easy way to control your drinking" but he said that he deliberately put that in the title because most people with an alochol problem would not even consider it if the title was '...Stop Drinking'. I know from my reaction and from others on here that he is probably right. I didn't ever want to stop drinking, I wanted to be in control of it. And it is only through time that I have got to my current place which is that I can only control my drinking (at the moment) if I don't have a drink at all today.

Did the book work for me? well it helped a bit for a while, and it has a lot of useful things in it which I remember and use now. I also tried hypnotherapy a couple of years ago. That helped a bit for a while. Now I just use everything together. Can't say which works, which doesn't, I'm not really in a position to make choices. Today I'll try enaything except drinking Grin

desiretochange · 07/12/2010 11:34

Thanks Venus, at the moment I am willing to try anything and at the moment this book is helping me question myself.

Waitingfortheepiphany · 07/12/2010 11:37

Yes, Venus summed it up well. Exdrinker, who swore by it said it was best not to tell people how it ends, but yes, it is ultimately about abstinence.

desiretochange · 07/12/2010 11:45

Ooops apologies, didn't realise it would be better not to give away the ending Blush, I bought it despite the title!

Waitingfortheepiphany · 07/12/2010 11:49

Smile The policeman did it.

MIFLAW · 07/12/2010 12:11

Do you mean, do I think about drinking, or do I think about NOT drinking?

I very rarely think about drinking at all except when I relive the past in the context of an AA meeting.

If you mean, do I ever WANT a drink, then the answer is, very, very occasionally, I think to myself, I wouldn't mind just going to the pub now and letting the world go by.

Then reality kicks in. I am honest enough to know that such a visit would be pure escapism.

I also watch the film to the end. I see the first drink; the second; the third and fourth. I see me leaving the pub, going to the cash point and coming back. I see the fruit machine and the juke box ("Little old Wine Drinker Me" was a favourite.) I see the journey home via the off licence. I see me explaining it to my partner (who has never seen me drink) and trying not to scare my daughter (ditto). I see the night in front of the tv on the sofa drinking more. And, most imporatant of all, I see it all start again the next day.

And so I don't have a drink.

I NEVER crave drink, by which I never feel, physically or mentally, that I "need" a drink. Family have died; relationships have broken up; job applications have failed; my child has been hospitalised; and not once have I NEEDED a drink.

If you mean, "do I think about NOT drinking" then yes. Sometimes in an AA meeting, or even just at home or in the office, I look round and think, "I have all this because of not drinking. How lucky am I?

"And I could throw it all away in a second."

Most people in AA meetings put a pound in the whip round, though it varies from person to person.

When I've got it handy, I prefer to put in £2.50.

The approximate price of the first pint of Stella in a Wetherspoons; the beginning of the end.

desiretochange · 07/12/2010 12:12

I thought it was the captain of the golf club Confused :):)

sleighrideinthursnow · 07/12/2010 12:46

Thanks MIFLAW

I guess I meant both really, do you think about drinking, and do you think about not drinking, so you answered very fully.

I suppose I would like to be a person who doesn't think about it all, but I'm pretty sure that can never be, for me.

I think about both of the things you have said: I know that 1 glass would lead to a bottle, and then some, probably, and I also think through to the next morning, which was always the worst time for me because I didn't ever go out and drink, although that's not true, as I'm pretty sure, no, I know that it showed at home, and it was the self-loathing that made the mornings so bad.

And I do think my life is 'smoother' somehow, even with the normal s**t that happens.

I suppose that is why I've stayed stopped, for today anywhoo.

Anyway, sorry if I've brought the mood down, just thinking out loud (Very self-obsessed today, obviously)

My favourite joke: Give me a crocodile sandwich, and make it snappy Grin

WasAwayIndieManger · 07/12/2010 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MIFLAW · 07/12/2010 13:08

"I suppose I would like to be a person who doesn't think about it all" - why on earth?

Thinking about drinking is no better or worse than thinking about a cheese roll.

It's whether you feel a craving i.e. an impulse to act on the thought that will determine whether you are happy or sad.

And I NEVER do.

MIFLAW · 07/12/2010 13:11

"I know that 1 glass would lead to a bottle, and then some, probably" - worth bearing in mind that, for most people, this gets worse as life goes on.

Today's one bottle and then some becomes tomorrow's two bottles and then some.

Or one bottle of brandy and then some.

Or one bottle first thing and another in the evening and then some.

If anyone thinks this would never happen to them they need to analyse what it is that makes them special, because it happens to nearly everyone else.

RedTinselMoomin · 07/12/2010 13:16

wasindie Xmas Grin

Am still here and keeping up to date. Feeling a bit weird today... After work I am going to visit one of my best friends who is fighting cancer at the moment. I haven't seen her for ages so it will be great to catch up but she's really ill and I am so pissed off about it! She only just got the 5 year all clear following breast cancer earlier this year, she just got married in September and 4 weeks later she was told that she has cancer in her bones and liver Sad Angry I know it's not my place to be angry but I am fuming.

Sorry, rant over.

RedTinselMoomin · 07/12/2010 13:17

Hi MIFLAW how are the family? Hope everyone's got over their various illnesses etc.

MIFLAW · 07/12/2010 13:22

Family good thanks - though I get the impression that winter, especially with ice and snow, is not a great time to be pregnant!

biancacb · 07/12/2010 13:29

MIFLAW - not great but my second pg through winter was a hell of a lot better than being pregnanct through that heat in 2006.... though, miond you, I'm not great at being pregnant at all Grin

RedTinselMoomin · 07/12/2010 13:31

MIFLAW glad that everyone's doing well. I can imagine that it feels a bit scary being pregnant and trying to get about in this weather!

MIFLAW · 07/12/2010 13:35

Yes - scary is the word.

I am doing a lot of propping ...

MIFLAW · 07/12/2010 13:36

On the other hand, of course, fantastic time not to be pissed up!

RedTinselMoomin · 07/12/2010 13:38

MIFLAW couldn't agree more re being pissed in this weather! I fell over a lot anyway, I dread to think the harm I would have done myself in this weather!

MIFLAW · 07/12/2010 13:46

It's not the falling over you have to worry about; it's the being able to get up afterwards where you notice the difference ...

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