I know it's only Tuesday but some advice on Orgasms

[abitembarrased]

Ok, name changed for obvious reasons. I'm 43 and have had a happy and fullfilling sex life with my DH of 20 years, but have never had an orgasm before (apart from one once which I had whilst in a dream and which was so strong it woke me up.)

Prompted by some threads on here I decided to take charge of things myself and bought myself something.

I have been experimenting with it for a week or two and have managed to come a couple of times. However it normally lasts for 2 or 3 pulses and then it is too sensitive to continue.

Not being very experienced - (my DH is my only partner), is this it or should it last longer? The one in my dream seemed to last a lot longer - 10 or twelve pulses. If I continue with it, would I come again, or is the sensitivity a way of getting me to stop? I'm not sure if I'm pulling back just at the point it starts to get interesting.

Sorry to have name changed but I'm not very forthright about such matters, and if my DH read this, I don't want him to think that I'm unhappy with our sex life, I just want to get as much out of it as I can.

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If you've found this page in your search of orgasm gels and orgasm lubes that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best orgasm gels useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Ha Ha,

been a bit busy!

After a late night dash to the tesco express for batteries, I've been a bit occupied.

Sent the kids out to the soft play centre with DH and had some 'me time'.

Must say - the egg thing I got was great, but I still need to use the rabbit to 'finish off'. I got one of the bullet things, which really didn't do anything for me.

I now realise I just have to try lots of things as obviously different things work for different people. Just worrying where to hide my toys as the DC will possibly start to hunt around to find Christmas presents at this time of year!

don't yu want to use your new toys with your partner though ?

Yes,

and have planned a weekend away just the two of us next weekend.

Wasn't sure how loud they would be (or how loud I'd be!), so didn't want to try them out with them in the house.

oh, thats ok then

have fun !

The sensitivity right after orgasm is normal for me. You just have to wait a minute or two and go for it again. And again. They get more 'earthshaking' as you go on. The first is usually tiny for me.

Have you tried using manual stimulation during sex with your DH?If you keep trying(FAST) eventually you should get the most intense internal orgasm ever. Vibrators have never came close to that for me.

And the best time for the best orgasms is during ovulation when your bits are swollen/sensitive. Sorry if this is ALL tmi !! :)

Sorry I should've said to use manual stimulation during penetration with your hand as opposed to a vibrator. The vibrator could sometimes have a tingly/numb effect on clitoral stimulation which could make it v. difficult to acheive what you want.

I think holding out for an internal O without using clitoral stimulation could leave you v. unsatisfied. I've never had one ever. But can dream....