The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Park Bench!

[HammerMouseOfHorrors]

Hello

I'm Mouse and one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus.

The bus is never full and you'll find a real mix of people on board, all with the same goal.

To take control of their drinking. Whether that's to stop completely or cut right down.

Everyone is welcome to get on the bus at any point. You will receive a warm welcome and plenty of support.

Some come meet the others.........

The journey so far.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

Thread nine

Thread ten

Day 7 booze-free. Quite impressive since I've been with my parents (mother is champion binge drinker and often my partner in crime) so no guilt or shame this weekend.
Why do I feel so flat and empty?

loopylouwitchywoo6 read this

Dichotomy read this and turn this experience in to something positive. Make a list of what you regret about last night. EVERYTHING you regret about last night, whilst you still feel awful about it. Then let it be gone, and stop being hard on yourself. Keep the list though, because you might need it.

luci really really well done. Not sure why you feel flat, it's better than feeling hungover or depressed...

However if we're used to chemical highs, ups and downs, maybe we need to get our kicks from something else - a lovely bath, a run, yoga, bar of chocolate, sex, dancing, a film... Not sure... When i have the answer i'll let you know

i better recive my book from bloody amazon soon exdrinker

well done Luci you are doing great, you are probably tired from the mental effort involved, all the time thinking how not to succumb (sp?).

miscreant is a real word, silver.

loopy - nice to see you.

luci - wow, how do you manage with your parents? Mine are also keen drinkers and they are so much harder to refuse than a friend could be. Any tips?

Warning to all on the bus - don't change your name when you are jet-lagged, or you won't remember what it is the next time you want to post something.

I am struggling to stay awake at the moment and trying not to go to bed too early, but I feel rather light-headed and a bit woozy, and I'm a bit wobbly on my legs. It feels horribly like being a bit drunk and I really, really am not liking it. I have gotten so used to being sober and in control, that I am finding this feeling very unpleasant, and to think that I used to be like this every night!

Christi, yes after a really beautiful autumn day, a beautiful full moon - it's wonderful.

Speak to you all in the morning.

Wow thanks for the lovely welcome :) I'm ok tonight coz I am drinking. Tomoz will ne the night I will ne in trouble as I am determined not to drink. So hard tho :(

Ex thanks I will read your link when I get on my pc, can't open another window on my phone.

Thanks ex, I will get tha\t ASAP.

BB well done on the weekend!!
Close call here tonight - finished the glass or two left over from yesterday and really got the taste for it. had to go out and pick up dd2 and was planning on buying a bottle at the offy on the way .
However, forced myself to leave purse behind so couldn't buy any and once home, straight into hot bath , followed by a mug of hot chocolate and now I'm off to bed.(I don't mean I actually got into the mug of hot chocolate, altho i probably could have done given the size of it)
It's scary how little it takes to undo all the good work.
Night all, here's to a sober week ahead

evening!!, 2 big 'well dones' to bb and luci!!

christi, im pleased to hear your dh is on the bus as well, it can only help his depression, hope youve had a lovley evening!!

and welcome to loopy!!, nice to meet you!!

venus - lovley to have you back!!, are you going to post some pics on your profile?, i would love to see some!!

well, im off to bed - had a long but pleasant weekend, a busy week stretching ahead - btw, im on the countdown now to 5 months sober, next saturday i will have been sober for 5 whole months!!, im not showing off, (although i am quite proud of myself) i just want to share with you all how wonderful it can be to just live a day at a time, everything starts to fall into place, the panic, the fear, it all starts to recede - i also want to say that every single one of you have helped me get this far! THANK YOU!!

so, the start of a new week in the morning - lets make it a new start for all of us!!, tomorrow

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

see you in the morning lovley babes!!

L XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello all - just back from holiday in Dorchester (hello if I met any of you in AA down there without knowing!)

So - what have I missed?

Welcome back Miflaw. Good to see you back.

I don't feel flat or depressed as a result of the absence of booze.
I feel this way because I know the hard work putting my life back together starts here.
Have been hiding behind getting pissed for too long.
Even though I feel down I realise things will get better if I can think clearly for a change.
Sorry, have not read the last couple of pages.
Mouse, hope Nemo is feeling better and you both get a good night's sleep.

Hi to all the oldies and newbies.
Stay strong and if you can't and it all goes tits up, we're all here for you.

Going to curl up on the back seat of Gerald for the night. Hope that's ok.
Night brave babes. X

mumbles f**king well done girl..................night night xxxxxxx

morning all. Slept so deeply. I will not be drinking today.
Neither will dh.
luci you're doing so so well, brilliant by you

silver you were up laaaaate

dichotomy how are you today?

I came and had a quick sit down on the bus a couple of weeks ago and then got off. But I'm back because I had two bottles of wine on Saturday night when a friend came round and I can't remember half of what I said to her and when I checked my emails the next morning I discovered I'd sent an email to an ex-boyfriend telling him I missed him and I don't! As someone said I don't want the drama and the guilt anymore. I WANT TO STOP.

I've tried so many times to stop and thought I'd got it nailed. But it always creeps back up until those evil bottles start piling up again by the back door. How do I say no when the craving starts? It can hit me at any time (although not in the mornings) and then I'm like an automaton heading for the nearest super-market to make my guilty purchase. Can I do it without AA? I've been in and out loads of times but I'm not really a joiner and the idea of going back doesn't appeal. So glad for this lovely thread and how it keeps going and going....

and the week is of to a good start ... more stupid questions from my US friends

hi everyone
dichotomy didn't see any of the weekend's threads but don't go anywhere!
Hi trinity

so I tumbled off this weekend. I knew saturday night I would have a couple of drinks because we had dinner guests and I wanted to. So I was good - 3 small glasses which for me is great. Woke up feeling like shit on sunday. bad nights sleep, knees aching, not great all day. Did I learn? so DH offers a glass of red sunday evening. and do i exercise any self control, no. 3 decent sized glasses later.
But this morning he thanks me (sarcastically) because i offered him the 3rd glass last night and he feels fuzzy this morning. So I finally snapped and just stood there and said "don't blame me, you coud have said no. You are responsible for your actions you know". and got in the shower.

And I had such a bad nights sleep. I may well have actually started to learn my lesson.

MIFLAW I have missed your good kicks up the backside for the past couple of weeks

Morning everyone - lovely frosty autumn morning here. Took the car for MOT and walked back in the sunshine (cold sunshine though).

Dipso welcome back on the bus. I think that one of the most difficult things is when I think I've got it sorted - no drinking at all for a period (which demonstrates that I've not got a problem ), followed by controlled drinking for a while (which reinforces that I don't have a problem ), followed by the realisation that my controlled drinking is not controlled and that I'm regularly having more than I planned to or wanted to, usually followed by a couple of big alcoholic fuck ups and then back to the beginning. With the help of this thread though, I'm keeping out of that loop for the moment.

I'm not a regular AA goer, but I do go sometimes - I find that it is helpful to see real people and to acknowledge out loud (rather than just on here) that I am an alcoholic, and to hear the stories and wisdom of people in real life. But I also find that this forum is where I turn to when a craving is building. For me it has always been so immediate in generating a response from someone, and even just being able to write down how I feel in the midst of it is helpful to me and helps to pass the time until the craving subsides a bit and becomes more manageable and resistable. I have definitely noticed that when I do manage to resist, the intense craving does not last for ever, and that has been such a helpful observation for me - has enabled me to last for a few minutes longer, then a few more, then just a few more.

hi daddywillbehomesoon chalk it up to experience, remember how badly you have slept. Isn't it funny how we often use alcohol to 'help us sleep' but after a period of not drinking, can see the utter rubbish that of that thinking when it becomes obvious that it so easily disrupts our sleep patterns.

Morning all, I'm ok thanks antichristi, woke a few times in the night burning with shame and also had a couple of horrible dreams - But I am OK, I'm still here, and feeling quite hopeful.

Can't shake the feeling that I'm being watched here though(a close family member has done it before - on a different site)

I think it may affect me joining in to be honest - I don't even want to post what I'm doing today in case she sees it and identifies me.

I hope everybody else is OK today, I'm out for the day but will be back later

Morning Brave Babes, new, old and in between.

I have been sober as in not pissed for nearly 4 bloody months!!

I'm amazed. Had a glass of red last night and then bed. DH is super proud of the way I have taken control but as I have said before, I know that I can still fall arse over tit off the bus at any moment.

All of you who are struggling, I wish there was a magic wand but only YOU can stop drinking if you WANT TO.

YOU HAVE TO REALLY WANT TO STOP TO DO SO. It is the ONLY way you will succeed.

4 months ... wow congrats Mouse ..

grmmmbbblle bastard grrrrmmmble set ups ...

4months! Well done Mouse. You should feel very very proud.