daddywillbehomesoon I have read your recent postings and just wanted to add my own thoughts....
I was married and in a relationship that was emotionally (and eventually physically abusive). In my situation I used alcohol as a way of blocking out sex that I didn't want, and as a way of rebelling in a life that was otherwise controlled. At the same time, I was increasingly promoted at work, and the better I did career-wise and the more money I earned, the more my exh felt the need to exert control within our marriage.
I think it is great that you are tackling your issues with alcohol (I wish I had done that years ago), but I post this, because in my experience as I became stronger and less dependent in one sphere of my life, my exh reacted by trying to exert more control in other areas. Please carry on with your plans to reduce / stop drinking, but also please be alert for changes in your dh's behaviour, that may not be positive/supportive.
Like witchetychicky, once I decided that enough was enough, it WAS a surprisingly easy decision, and I never looked back and regretted it - my dds were 6 and 1.6 at the time - although it was tough work (over many years) to ensure that they had a good relationship with exh. My own dparents, although understanding of my great unhappiness, would have preferred if things could have been magically sorted out, so they were not supportive at all of my decision. I see that your parents are coming to visit later this year. Please do not let your decision about your future rest with them - they are not living in your life.
I think I recall that you posted in 'Relationships' about your situation some time ago and got some excellent advice about the steps you could take. It may be that being in control of your drinking will not solve your current situation, in fact it may allow you to see more clearly the damage that it is doing to you and potentially to your ds's. If that happens then please think about posting again in relationships and putting into action some of the plans that others there (and on this thread) could help you with.
I hope you don't think I am interfering here, but MIFLAW always talks about tackling our problems in the order in which they are killing us (or destroying our own sense of self / self-esteem). And I sense in your posts something about your current situation that reads as though that in itself is destroying you. It sounds as though you are doing well in exerting discipline and self-will in reducing your drinking, perhaps now is the time to think about how you can use those strengths to address your realtionship issues. Take care x