Why do they do this??

[voicesinthedark]

I split from H 4 yrs ago, he left me and ds for another woman. She has now threw him out, and guess what, he's phoning and texting me now, asking for sex!

I don't know what goes through some mens minds, why would I want him in my bed literally weeks after ow has had enough of him!

Give me some good retorts, because he isn't getting the message, the slimy bugger.

Just laugh uncontrollably at him. Worked for me.

a simple "go fuck yourself" should do it

I sometimes get XPs texting (or sending messages on Facebook)along similar lines. While I tell myself this is because I am simply phenomenal between the sheets I find completely ignoring the suggestions works well enough.

You could always go down the Peter Cook route. He got invited somewhere said he had to check his diary and responded (approximately)
"I'm sorry but I find I am watching television that evening"

"All the alcohol in the world wouldn't make me drunk enough"

"Stick it under the cold tap"