Archers thread #184: It’s a shambles! And we don’t mean Casey Meats. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you're looking forward to Morris dancing on the radio, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Right, to business. I can't say I'm delighted that the focus is on Rochelle and Casey Meats at the moment, because I'm not. All far too peripheral to Ambridge and too new. As I say ad nauseam, more farming storylines please, and where are all the long-standing members of the cast? The discussion about inheritance tax in The Bull the other night was a bit clunky, but what a refreshing change to hear two familiar voices, both farmers, talking about farming-related stuff, even if BBC balance meant they had to be challenged by two non-farmers, and even if it is months after the Budget introduced these changes. Ah well.

I was tempted to put one of my Dad's terrible jokes into the thread title as an oblique reference to George's coffin-making idea, but it wouldn't have made sense to anyone else. He loved referring to the cemetery as the Dead Centre of the island, so I was pondering something about Grange Farm becoming the Dead Centre of Ambridge. It could happen yet. Emma and Ed could provide willow branches and Clarrie could sit in the kitchen weaving them. Surely it must be similar to knitting?

Finally, if the SWs are lurking and looking for new storylines, it's been very dry recently and there have been lots of wildfires in rural areas. There was a bad one on Gaspmother Island a few days ago. Many farmers are very worried about this at the moment, as reported on Farming Today last week. But what am I thinking! This is a story that only works in a rural setting, so in the current incarnation of TA, it's not soapy enough.

Over to you!

I like the Maliks ... yes, all of them So there!

Joy and Rochelle are never going to leave Ambridge, are they?

Joy has been positioned to be the new Lynda, randomly turning up at people's houses asking them to do things they don't want to do. And Rochelle is going to have a relationship with poor Rex and discover a new "family" in Ambridge so she no longer needs the commune and doesn't have to carry out the Abbatoir Attack. I feel very depressed.

Other people's wedding photos tend to be boring unless we know the people in them. The wedding photos of people we don't know, on radio, is a whole new level of tedium not heretofore experienced.

Rochelle has a nerve saying her mother would fuss. The banshee-like shrieking and howling, after the ball hit her elbow, made me thing she had been eviscerated and /or had her brains spilling out (very tiny spillage...). Shame nothing extremely serious happened.

The Maliks were being sweet and funny and kind, and we could do with more of it. Though I haven't know them long enough to care. I've known Rochelle an even shorter time, but loathe her so much that I hope someone torpedos the boat. It would be nice if Rosie and her mum were visiting their uncle at the time. Oh, and her Archer grandparents.

As AskingQuestionsAllTheTime said other people's wedding photos are a bore at the best of times. It's difficult to think of anything I could care less about than the Maliks' wedding photos.

Zainab's hyperactive screeching voice is even more unpleasant than Zainab's whiny moany voice.

I am very surprised that Joy was not at the cricket match to watch her daughter. I'd've thought she would be, so Rochelle could then find some convoluted way to blame her for her presence or for the injury or both.

I also have slight difficulty working out what happened. Were Ambridge batting? Or was Rex bowling? Is it possible that Ambridge having to finish the match two players short contributed to them losing badly? You'd think someone who was not on the team ought to have been told to take the cry-baby to hospital, rather than one of their star players skiving off.

@Godesstobe With a heavy heart I think you're probably right, I can hardly stand it.

Rex will somehow enable Rochelle to get her children back, who are no doubt as unlikeable as their mother, and will become stepfather of the year. Joy and Rochelle will make up, their past difficulties will never be mentioned again.

Then there will be a late surprise baby for Rochelle and Rex and the new north east contingent will become stalwarts of Ambridge, together with the tedious Maliks, all the action( not that there will be much) will transfer to the Beechwood estate, by which time, having listened for over 40 years on and off, I'll have finally stopped listening.

Oh no. I hadn’t thought of Rochelle’s children turning up

i can’t bear the amount of air time they are giving to the newcomers - I’m not going to listen to tonight’s on the basis of this thread.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime ... I also have slight difficulty working out what happened. Were Ambridge batting? Or was Rex bowling? Is it possible that Ambridge having to finish the match two players short contributed to them losing badly?

Two words spring to mind: Who cares?

With a heavy heart I think you're probably right, I can hardly stand it.

Thanks for the heads-up- I will skip tonight…

I haven’t listened but am making my way through the posts.
Feels a bit misogynistic (I am a woman if it matters) but is Zainab the new Pip, I wonder? (In terms of every aspect of both character and acting range being annoying)

Summary- Ma Malik highly improbably got sent off to Grey Gables on her own for a spa day bought for her as a wedding anniversary present by the mini Maliks.

Both Mini Maliks were in a state of screeching hyperactivity as if they'd consumed every E number going. Pa Malik, in Ma Malik's absence, was squeezed into his wedding clothes and taken somewhere to be photographed.

Boy mini Malik used photoshop to show Pa Malik the wedding photos could be recreated - and they could be located anywhere - even the moon ! [He said that, it's not wishful thinking on my part] Mini Malik wanted to photoshop in dead / missing relatives/ grandparents (?) [which was the only point of interest. Pa Malik was cagey about gps' non-attendance. Is all not really sweetness and light chez Malik?] Ma Malik returned and it was all wonderful and got all teary about it.

Meanwhile at the cricket, Ambridge was doing very badly and Rochelle was being hassled by Saskia on the phone. Rochelle wanted to be put lower in the batting order but Freddy was having none of it. Rochelle leaves message telling Saskia she's not available, stop phoning. Rochelle plays, actually very well apparantly , [cricket is a mystery to me ] until Rex hits Rochelle's elbow with a cricket bat [I don't know why, cricket is a mystery to me]

Rex rushes Rochelle to A&E. It's not serious but for reasons I can't be bothered typing out Rochelle is moving in with Rex.

Yes it was that bad.

The cricket sounds…unbelievable?

I think Rex hit the ball and that hit Rochelle. The two of them were batting.

Shame it didn't hit her in the head. It might have knocked some credibility into the character.

I’d have settled for a broken jaw, to be honest. One that needed wiring shut for a good long time.

I thought we’d already been told why the in laws didn’t attend, was it something to do with Partition or something else political? Or maybe my head’s just imagined that?

So did they meet and marry in Pakistan? I had the impression azra and adil were British born

azras parents died so couldn’t attend the wedding. Implication to me was that Pa married her because her parents died (not saying he didn’t love or whatever but maybe rushed it)

I’ve said this far too many times but have any of the SW EVER DATED BEFORE? you don’t just move in casually with the bloke you fancy even if you have got a hurty arm.

I have a faint possibly false memory that similar happened with R-Ex, the horse vet? They seemed to go from flirting in the pub to full on shared laundry basket cohabiting in about a fortnight.

I didn't hear any screeching from the Maliks.

If you are putting together a team for a fairly important match against another village, surely you would have to be absolutely desperate to put a recent recruit who had never paid the game previously into your team? And wouldn't you put them right down the end of the batting order?

I got the impression there was more to it than Pa Malik wanted to discuss - although photo shopping in relatives who weren't there, possibly because they were dead, is bizarre.

Yep. Why would anyone care about this stupid storyline? I have no idea where my wedding photos are

We don't have to "care" about storylines. It's an everyday story, not a major drama. One of the joys of the Archers is that you can have storylines about essentially trivial things like the Flower and Produce show and the village cricket team and replacing the destroyed valued photographs which matter not a jot in the big scheme of things but which show ordinary people just doing, well, stuff.