If you could join The Archers as a new character, who would you be?

[SladeGreen]

I've just spent a good 15 minutes daydreaming about this fantasy .

I would be the new village vet, who is also Jolene's long-lost half sister. I would be competing with Alistair for clients to my new mobile-vet business, before taking him on when he inevitably loses his business through gambling.
Rob would take an immediate shine to me, and try to bonk off with me behind the cow shed, but little does he know what I KNOW about his fraudulent ways, and so I would gather all the incriminating paperwork to bring him to justice. In a bid to stop the big reveal, Rob sets fire to my office (not knowing Helen and Henry are inside). Rob would go in to rescue them both, but they manage to get out before Rob burns to a crisp.

Anyone else?

P.S. Oh, and I would die in the fire aswell. I don't want to be a long-term character, I couldn't commute to Birmingham for recording every month

Lillian's love child.
Jealous of her bond with Kate I'd set up my own rival health retreat in the Fairbrother's goose paddock, enamouring Rex n Tobes and infuriating Pip.

Rob's mother

Pooh you've really given this some thought, Op.
Definitely channeling my inner Helen Mirren as a DI Tennison (?sp) come to arrest Carol for murdering John Tregorren (?sp) and recover off-shore invested millions she embezzled. Love the idea of the sound effect jangle of the handcuffs and the sharp intakes of breath before the end theme music.

Pooh? Bloody spell checker, that was supposed to be an 'Oooh'

Johnny's twin brother - the one Sharon forgot to mention because he's been locked away for a dreadful crime (wrongfully convicted? Who knows?) since he was ten.

He was born five minutes before his twin. (And John left everything to his eldest child.)

OP could you transport your thread to the "official" Archers thread? I'm sure everyone would want to play.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/2474131-The-Cheese-Queen-needs-to-tread-Caerphilly-Camembert-the-tension-Join-The-Archers-thread-and-hope-it-gets-Feta-from-here-on

Done

I'd be a very old, very dear friend of Lillian's, who spent the last twenty years living on the Costa and who has returned to England after winning big on the Euro lottery. I'd be glamorous and gorgeous and very, very business smart.

I'd be out to have a fabulous time darlings, I'd wipe the floor with the various ghastly Ambridge men (esp. Throb, Justin Elliot and Brian). I'd buy Hazel out and send her on her way (never to be seen again). I'd make Elizabeth, Shula and Ruth look like the po-faced miserable cows they so clearly are.

I'd put the life back into Lillian and between us we would get Jolene to have some fun.

Then, having shaken things up and not sighed once, I would waft off to somewhere more exciting.

I'd like to be be Damian Henry's teacher who spots clear signs of abuse in both Henry and Hellin.

Just posted on the other thread

I'd be a woman from the National Lottery who turns up to present Clarrie with a cheque for several million £s - enough to buy Grange Farm back from Ollie Foxbreath.

I would be the crazed serial killer - cue lots of 'Whats that noise coming from my zider shed/cow shed/random dark place with only one exit, followed by 'dad/pip/whoever has been gone a long time, I'll go and find them'.

I'd be a tall dark extremely handsome entrepreneur, irresistible to women. Oh, hang on . . .

I'd be Mrs Eliot, who is a country girl who inherited money and helped her husband to build up his business and who doesn't like what is happening to Ambridge one little bit. I'd also suss out Rob and lend moral support for Helen by letting her stay in our holiday home whilst she tries to divorce Rob which should cause problems. I'd also sort Hazel out too.

I'd mainly do this so I could act with Simon Williams as I've had a crush on him since Upstairs Downstairs days.

I'd be Nelson's long-lost daughter. Not entirely new as there were references to me.

I'd have his voice, in a Julia Pargetter way. And open a Wine Bar. Be shameless and profligate, kind and supportive. And have Borsetshire's biggest wine cellar.

The mad woman who breaks in to Blossom Hill cottage and murders Rob.