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Original poster

Has anybody bought a house with their head (not because they loved it) and then grown to love it?

36 replies

FatGirlThin · 03/05/2009 08:28

Me and dh have seen a house that needs loads of work doing to it (that doesn't bother us). It has a great garden and all the room we need. The only thing that's holding me back is that I didn't get a great feel to it when I walked in. We bought our present house when it needed everything doing to it and it didn't look good but I still had a great feeling about it.
I know the alterations we would make to this house could make it a fantastic family home for us.
Anyone else had a similar situation, how did it work out? I am really confused!

OP posts:

LadyOfWaffle · 03/05/2009 08:31

Visit it again, drive round the surrounding roads & get a feel for it some more

Lubyloo · 03/05/2009 08:33

Don't buy it!! I am living in a house that I didn't get that feeling for. I let DH persuade me that it was practical, made sense and ticked all the right boxes. Seven years later we are still here and I have never settled or felt at home. Always go off your gut reaction.

We are hoping to move later this year and DH has learnt his lesson. We will only be buying a house that gives us we get an immediate "yes" feeling for.

slackrunner · 03/05/2009 08:36

FGT - I know exactly what you mean. We're looking for somewhere at the moment, and went back to see a property on Friday for a second viewing. We have quite stringent requirements as dd is in a wheelchair - and this house would be great from that perspective. It also ticked loads of other boxes...great garden, period features blah, blah, blah. BUT it hasn't pulled my or dh's heartstrings. I think we're going to walk away (probably mad), as every time I've bought somewhere before I've known it was the one within the first couple of minutes of the viewing.

IMO it is a massive purchase/ commitment (especially in the cureent climate) to make, therefore it has to tick the boxes AND feel right.

Original poster

FatGirlThin · 03/05/2009 08:48

LOL I knew this is what you lot would say and in my heart of course I agree! We're just in a difficult situation because we have sold our house but can't find anywhere to buy, there's just not that much out there on the market at the moment.

OP posts:

Lubyloo · 03/05/2009 08:51

Could you rent for a while? House prices may even drop further so could be advantageous for you.

crokky · 03/05/2009 08:56

DO NOT BUY IT!

Sorry for caps, but I have lived in a house which I didn't "love" and it really is hell. We did a lot of work on it and improved it massively, but still I couldn't love it. Wherever you are in the house, you will be seeing things you don't love. If you go from a place you love (but that has got too small or whatever), you will regret going to a place you don't love. We had to sell after a year.

noddyholder · 03/05/2009 08:57

We were at exchange on a dream house last september when the surveyor found a problem that was not sortable.We were concerned as we had a lot of cash in the bank and they were collapsing at the time.Dp said lets just find somewhere in the area and be done with it.I went online and found a lovely house in nice road viewed it within an hour and dp loved it and while it fitted all our criteria I didn't really get a feel for it.I did the bulk of the renovations in 7 weeks and moved in the week before xmas and had it in my mind to sell it.Then we had a few good weekends in the house with friends and the garden got done and I started to like it more and now I really love it and am enjoying finishing it.

Original poster

FatGirlThin · 03/05/2009 09:05

Noddy - you're the dissenting voice!! I soooooooo want to agree with you but I am quite a sensitive (not boo hoo, I've stepped on a spider but I just get strong feelings about places) and I'm not sure I can get over the feeling about this place. It is good to hear it can work though in case we do end up compromising because we can't find our dream house. Unfortnately we have quite a small area that we want to live in.

We are considering going into rented but of course it's not an ideal with young dc having to move twice. YARGH!!

OP posts:

sarah293 · 03/05/2009 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

oopsagain · 03/05/2009 09:14

I am living in a house that i didn't really get a good feeling for.
We moved from a beautiful much loved small 2 bed flat round the corner to this house.
Flat was in keeping with the area- edwardian, lovely features and very sweet garden.

House is 2 double bed ex council, tatty, broken and just no personality

moved about 2 yrs ago- and have done alot of work in it and n the garden.

Whilst I don't LOVe it , I do love the area and i love the fact that we have a bigger garden than everyone else. And the house is much bigger than the edwardian 2 bed cottages for the same price.

BUT- I knwo this isn't the forever house.
I'm not expecting to stay here long term.... and I expect that when we look next time it will be the "forever" house. I'll be more discerning then and probably not buy this house.

Having said that, it is looking nice and we have had some fun here and it is certainly in a fab area
we couldn't have afforded the house we really want here. it's a case of the worst house in the best road.

noddyholder · 03/05/2009 09:18

I def didn't get a feel this time like I have previously.I could see all the pros though size price period features location etc but was underwhelmed by it tbh.It is in the last few weeks I have turned a corner really and seeing my dp and ds really loving it and the way it has turned out has really changed me.Forget the dream house and concentrate on a dream life!

PistachioLemon · 03/05/2009 09:25

Don't do it!

We bought a house that ticked all the boxes (but we didn't love it) over one that we loved but didn't tick all the boxes. The one we loved was round the corner from the one we bought so we saw it every day and from day one we regretted not buying it.

In fact, we grew to hate the one we bought so much that we didn't even finish the work on it and moved two years later to a house we absolutely adore but definitely doesn't tick all the boxes.

It was a very expensive mistake!

sweetcat · 03/05/2009 09:26

Think twice before buying. We sold our house in 2 days (5 yrs ago) and then panicked and bought the one we are in now. I never really liked it although it ticked 99% of the boxes. Like others have said, I never warmed to it straight away.

Now I can't wait for the nursery fees to end next September and to look for another house. I'm not unhappy or anything, but I do really want to move. DH doesn't so there's a whole other argument!

lalalonglegs · 03/05/2009 09:50

Do you need to love it? It's a house - surely it's what you put inside it that makes the crucial difference?

Original poster

FatGirlThin · 03/05/2009 09:57

No I guess we don't need to love it but since it will be our home, where me and dc spend majority of our time I want to like it!! It's such an emotional thing for me which I know it probably shouldn't be. I do love the house we live in now but am just desperate for more space.

We've seen a house that both of us would by tomorrow, just gorgeous, in our budget but in the wrong place. Seeing that just made me wonder if there are houses out there that you can fall for maybe you shouldn't buy one that although ticking the proverbial boxes doesn't make you feel good!

I've let my heart rule my life so far and it's going pretty well (wonderful dh, two fab children) but then again maybe it is time I grew up lol!

OP posts:

Original poster

FatGirlThin · 03/05/2009 09:58

buy tomorrow, not by

OP posts:

feedthegoat · 03/05/2009 10:01

I did that exact same thing and we moved in 16 months ago. It took about 8 months for us to admit we had made a massive mistake. These 8 months were spent with my dh being as miserable as sin and me acting like some sort of over enthusiastic puppy (kind of 'look at me I can love the house enough for both of us!').

I hated the house too and was exhausted with the effort but felt responsible and resentful as dh and left the decision to buy to me, offered no input and moaned and moped for England after we moved. Last year was awful but things have improved since we admitted we hate it and want to move as soon as possible. Unfortunately this is not likely to be for 4 or 5 years as we sank every penny we had into the house.

I thought I was being sensible buying with my head over heart but I'll never do it again! Keep looking for one you love and rent in the short term if you have to.

daftpunk · 03/05/2009 10:03

depends how long you're going to stay in the house, my 1st two properties were bought with my head..this one with my heart...because i'm never moving again....it had to be love.

tkband3 · 03/05/2009 10:14

We bought our dream house just before we found out DD1 was on the way - a beautiful, but small, Victorian terrace which had been completely opened up inside...it was just stunning and we were ready to offer on it without having seen the upstairs .

Then 2 years later we found out we were expecting twins. We needed more space but couldn't afford anything bigger in the area (East London). So we moved to the North London suburbs to a lovely house, close to good schools and with good connections into town, which was in perfect condition (didn't fancy renovating anything with 10 month old DTs!). We were really looking forward to living in rooms, rather than open-plan. Within 6 months we had decided we needed to open the house up - it just didn't suit how we wanted to live! So we did lots of work to the house and it is now lovely - all our friends say how lovely it is. But we both still miss our old house - DH actually cried when we left it for the last time. I don't think either of us would say that we 'love' this house, but it's the right house in the right area and we've made good friends here now.

So I suppose what I'm saying is, we moved with our heads and then let our hearts tell us what to do with the house to make it 'ours'. It was the 'grown-up' thing to do for our family .

Original poster

FatGirlThin · 03/05/2009 10:15

LOL goat! I can see us being the same!

Daftpunk - we want this to be our forever home but in our hearts we know that we may not be able to afford that this time round(what would be ideal would be a house that needs work that could turn it into our forever house). The one I mentioned in my OP would definitely NOT be our forever house and we would be buying it anticipating that we would move again in about 5 yrs I think.

OP posts:

daftpunk · 03/05/2009 10:17

in that case i would buy it.

feedthegoat · 03/05/2009 10:22

Then don't do it! Seriously I have been with dh for 16 years and we have never had as many problems as we did last year. Everyone kept saying there has to be more to it than that , a house cannot make you miserable! All I can say that as soon as we accepted that we hate it everything just clicked back into place again but last year felt like a long one.

Sorrento · 03/05/2009 10:24

Every house should be bought with your head, I do not get this falling in love with it nonsense, however I see a house as 4 walls and a roof that stops me getting wet and cold at night, not something I want to pay so much for that I cannot go on 2 holidays a year.
Moving with young CD's is not as bad as you think, we did it 4 times in 4 years, it's fine.
If you are a sensitive sort then hold on, rent until you get the "one" it's too big a purchase to make do IMO.

elvislives · 03/05/2009 10:33

But it's not a case of "love" is it? It either feels like "home" or it doesn't. If it doesn't then you will be miserable.

When we bought our last house it was on a new estate and the one we'd reserved got sold to someone else. With hindsight we should have walked away at that point but we bought one two doors down. We hated it from day one. Then we had no end of problems with the neighbours. We stuck it out for 12 years because we couldn't afford to move again, but the day we finally managed to sell it we walked away and never looked back.

The house we are in now could never be described as anybody's dream home but it felt like home from the first visit.

Swedes · 03/05/2009 15:52

I always buy houses because I think I should rather than falling in love with them. I remember sitting up in bed with the details of my current house saying to myself "Oh please don't let me buy this ugly house". But we did and we are v v happy here.

I think you should go for it.

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