Stay or move?

[Lambsydaisy]

I've name changed for this as potentially outing, and it's an essay, so here's the tldr written by ai, the rest of the post was written by me 😁

Stay: Rural village i love, potential dream house, doorstep walks, tight community — but mortgage payments likely double from January, squeezing you to zero discretionary spending, with no financial cushion since DH can't work due to illness.
Move: Lower mortgage, more amenities, shorter commute, room to save/overpay, possible EV/solar — but you lose the house, village, and space you both love, and it takes 7 years to break even on moving costs.
Core tension: Financial security and breathing room vs. a place and lifestyle you're genuinely attached to. Head says move, heart says stay, decision forced by December's fixed-rate expiry.
What would you do and why?

Here's the essay if you like more detail. I live in a lovely very small village with no amenities, not even a shop, but a really great community who all look out for each other. It's rural, surrounded by farmers fields and a nature reserve. It's unlikely to have any houses built in any of the fields as we're not on mains gas or sewage so it would be really expensive for any developer to build as the planners would expect a developer to put those in. I love being able to walk straight out of my door into the nature reserve and walk for hours with my dog. It is idilic, I love the fresh air and space to move and breath, the lack of people. My house is small but it is just my DH and dog so it's fine for us. It has a lot of potential too, huge loft, double garage, massive garden, and it's detached. It does need a little work in a couple of areas but not very much. It's under an hour to my elderly parents so I visit most weekends.

I love the house and the village, as does my DH. I especially love the potential of the house, I can see it being my forever home and if I ever had the money I'd do things like a loft conversion and extension. It could be amazing. It does not have kerb appeal and is on a road that is fairly busy at peak times.

I was made redundant in January, I got another job almost immediately but it's really made me aware of my outgoings. I have enough equity in this house to move to a cheaper area, and buy a similar size house with a smaller garden, and maybe a semi not detached, in a town, for less money which would probably halve my mortgage. I'd be giving up a house I love, the village and the outside space, walks on the doorstep, and the very easy social life if I move. It would take 7 years on a lower mortgage to break even on the stamp duty and associated moving costs.

I'd gain some things though if I choose my location well, easier access to public transport, no mortgage worries if my job situation changes as I'll be able to overpay or save. I'd get closer to my office so my commuting costs would reduce and I might free up a bit of money to afford an electric car and solar panels. Daily life would probably get easier with more amenities, as an example it's currently a 40 min round trip to the nearest shop and gym. I work full time so this means i don't go to the gym as often as I'd like and popping out for a pint of milk can take nearly an hour. I love DIY and decorating so I've no doubt I can make any house a house I'd love, but I can't change a location.

Our fixed mortgage term expires in December, so I feel like I should be making a decision now on whether to stay or sell up and move. I'm on a fantastic low rate currently so my mortgage repayments are likely to double from January if I stay here and move onto a new fixed term or the variable rate, given how rates have increased. I earn a good salary but I can't afford to save money, each month my outgoings match my incoming funds because we do the things we enjoy, making memories. DH does not work due to long term life limiting ill health, so there's no cushion if I have any unemployed periods. I know we can do the higher mortgage payments for a while, probably quite a long while. it would mean that all discretionary spending would have to be cut to the bone and I think that can be very wearing. Fewer meals out, memberships and charity donations cancelled, no theatre and restricted cinema trips. Holidays aren't a factor, I haven't been able to afford a holiday in over a decade. I'm chipping away at a mortgage on a great property in a great location and that's about to get harder financially, so should I be making it easier financially instead, gain a bit of financial security and ease of lifestyle but give up my lovely rural location, space, peace and quiet?

My head is saying move, my heart is saying stay.
DH thinks exactly as I do, we just can't make a decision. I worry we'd regret moving. What would you do and why?

I’d definitely move. It feels like the finances will not stack up on this one, and that will put increasing pressure on you.
People in my family have been forced to move when it became a necessity and that’s worse in my view than facing the reality and being prepared. It’s feels hard but the ‘fire drill’ was pretty awful. Those who did it on their own time feel ‘lighter’ and have discovered what they were missing out on - craft groups, swimming etc.
I hope the meals / theatre and other leisure facilities become abundant and that you have some room in the budget for mini breaks.

I’d speak to some mortgage brokers now to understand exactly what an increase looks like. It may be more achievable to stay than you fear.

If it were me, I'd move cos I'm not a big fan of rural, but your heart isn't in it. You're doing all the right things by totting up the pros and cons, focusing on the financial, but it sort of sounds like you're trying to convince yourself. I've got an offer to go and live somewhere (think AONB) and save a lot of money but still have plenty of room. My heart isn't in it. I feel depressed every time I think about it, even though it looks great on paper. Stay.

Not sure I would move if as you say it will take 7 years to break even from the costs of moving. You could move and have dreadful neighbours, the chance of that would worry me so much. It’s a very difficult decision to make. I would give my house priority over every thing else but that’s me. Good luck in whatever you de ice.

I wouldn't move with a 7 year break even period either as you will not be any better off. Have you looked into any other options for reducing your mortgage payments such as a longer term?

Could you extend the term to lower the repayments and then downsize further down the line? I would be exploring all ways to keep mortgage costs as low as possible with the aim of staying where you love.

I am going to explore a longer term but I'm mid 50s now so suspect I'll be capped at 20years, which is what I have left on the current mortgage.

If your home is desirable in terms of location- could you rent it out and stay somewhere smaller and cheaper for a year to build up some savings and test an area out? No commitment and could reassure you either way what the best option is whilst potentially building some savings?

Can you fence off the double garage and part of the driveway and rent it to someone as a studio space?

You like doing things that take finances, oh and a holiday might be nice.
Having little free cash gets very wearing after a while, been there. The relaxation that not worrying about spending on non-essentials is great. Plus not worrying about job security?
Your current house has potential but why is that important if it's fine as is? Maybe you could find a place that already had what you think is missing from your current place. Nearer work, smaller garden = more leisure time to go out and about and take the dog to new places.
Oh, busy road you say, not my idea of rural heaven :)
I guess you have to prioritise some more, maybe find an area that you can see lots of positives in, there's plenty of community to be found outside villages.
I'd choose happiness, but it's difficult to decide how that might be found, it is a dilemma I'm currently facing. :)

This would be a no brainer for me, I'd move. The lack of financial leeway would swing it. You can find somewhere just as lovely, you just need to look. The pressure on you for the mortgage payments and sundry other expenses, by staying where you are, would mean it would soon feel like a burden. No holidays, no treats, no cheeky days out? That's no way to live.

I’d consider your husband in this too. It would be better for him to live somewhere less isolated if he needs to get to a hospital, or make lots of trips to doctors/treatment centres.

There will certainly be a middle ground here you’ve not really discovered yet.

7 years to break even? I think I’d stay put. How much equity to you have? The mortgage change might not be as bad as you think.

You should be exploring that change in detail first. Then maximising income.

Has your DH made sure he’s receiving any/all benefits he’s entitled to?

The freedom that a lower or no mortgage gives you is invaluable. You also have to factor in the impact on you of the stress of being the main earner - what if you become ill or can't work?
Edited for typos

I don't think that would work financially, rents in my area are far more than my increased mortgage would be, and landlords have to pay tax on their total rent received now, so I'd end up worse off. It would've worked before the tax situation changed, but not now.

Ooo, that's a thought. Yes, potentially. The garage is not in a super condition but if I cleared it out and fixed it up it could work.

I t JJ the potential is important as I'm a person who loves to change things for the better and that includes the houses I live in. I like to tweak and alter so stuff works better. But I do wonder if it's ever have the money to do that here, so it could be a pipe dream. Maybe I need to let that go.

I would explore this to the fullest and to as far as you can go.

I live rurally and the advantages for your well being ( depending what you like) are huge. You like this life and appreciate the benefits so for your needs, it would be nice and preferable if there's a way to stay here.

The city life, cramped garden and so many people would be something i would hate now. I need peace and the simple things. For some, a move would be great based on the lifestyle they like.

You may find you're forced to choose to leave. But that will be something you will adapt to and the financial benefits will be appreciated.

Just make sure I suggest that every avenue to affordably stay is covered. Then the decision might be made for you.

The current house, it's only 20 mins to the hospital the oncologist and other consultants are based at so it does make the appointments really easy to mange. Treatments so far have been in a variety of other locations most fairly fair away but in all different directions.
DH prefers the isolation, I'm keener than he is on having a few more amenities within walking or cycling distance.

I think you might be right, maybe it won't be as bad as I think. My LTV is about 20%
We haven't looked at benefits at all. I've assumed we won't be eligible as I earn pretty well which will exclude us from any mean's tested benefits, and I don't want to put him through the pain of applying for pip, I've heard it's horrendous. Hiya mental health isn't great. Besides which right now he's fine most days, he'll not qualify for pip I think until he's much worse. He isn't terminal yet, and there's no timeline on that, could be a couple of years, could be a decade. This house is a bungalow so will be great longer term if mobility gets worse.

We're looking to 'upsize' to detached, and will have to give up the current rural idyll of 22 years. But, it has changed and so have we tbh. There's other things that can be prioritised and a swap accepted. :) I don't know if you've tried to see what mortgages might be available, but I filled in the online calculator (not too detailed) at L&C to see if moving is a financial possibility. www.landc.co.uk/mortgages/mortgage-calculator

So we had exactly that - the dream house in the countryside. But as cost of living rose, mortgage rates rose, cost for repairs rose and husbands worked slowed we made the difficult decision to sell the dream home.

We moved to a town and I hate that the neighbours are so close. I hear them in the garden, I know they can hear me if my windows are open. HOWEVER - I have no mortgage. My house is big enough for us, cheaper to run and closer to amenities. We can have a meal out when we want. Book a holiday. Enjoy life. And I wouldn’t go back and change my decision.

Go with your heart.

I live in a similar place and it would break my heart to leave it.

I would also suggest that you investigate paying your mortgage fortnightly rather than monthly. It can shorten the life of your loan and save you considerable money.

This is interesting, I didn't even know that was possible! Will definitely investigate. Thank you.

We've just had another discussion, still going round in circles, but we do agree that so far we've not actually seen any house we'd really like to move to and we're going to look at all the local plans in the area to see where all the massive housing estates are going, which we'd want to avoid.
I'll have a good look at mortgages too.