FInding it hard to settle in. Any tips for how to get sorted out after moving?

[Honey1975]

We moved a month ago and I am feeling overwhelmed with everything.
The house itself is ok in that it doesn't anything major doing but there are just so many little things that need doing. We've got problems with the toilets blocking and several things appear to have stopped working or broke as soon as we moved in! It also looks a lot more tired than when we viewed it & could do with a repaint and some new carpets throughout.

Every room is chaotic and we can't find things. Being at work a lot of the time doesn't allow for much time to sort things and when I'm at home dd is pretty needy & DS has an attitude about everything. I feel I'm neglecting them as I'm trying to get the house sorted and this is reflected in their challenging behaviour. I'm trying to sort out our finances as things need setting up differently now and the first moth things have been a bit all over the place.

DH tries to help but he is not a diy person. We're tired from the whole move and are niggling at each other a lot of the time which is not good for anyone.

I was so excited about moving but the after move bit is proving a lot harder than I expected. My head is spinning with all there is to be done.

Can anyone offer any suggestions please that might help me feel a bit more organised? Thanks in advance.

Hi.

Make a list, most pressing stuff first.

Enjoy ticking things off said list, one at a time.

Give yourself deadlines? I work better if I know there is a time limit!

Take one room at a time. Get it all unpacked for that room and setup so you feel "in".

Decorating will wait, just set up now and tell yourself that Rome wasn't built in a day.

Work out what one thing will make you feel more at home and less "restless". For me it was the kitchen, cupboards organised and equipment where I wanted it. For DH it was the garage storage sorted. Basically if those were done everything was manageable. DH calls this...your handle on life!

Enjoy the chaos of having "just moved". Remind yourself that you have loads of time to "settle in" and a lot of stuff doesn't actually matter anyway.

Thank you Colours for the advice. I have tried making a list but I can't seem to prioritise as lots of things seem equally important.
I haven't even got round to doing regular things like changing bedding yet. DS hasn't got anything for his window so I need to get a blind sorted for him. DD is merrily carrying on with her 'arts & crafts' without a table to do them on so has been snipping and sticking on the playroom floor! Everywhere I turn I see something that needs doing and I get easily distracted!

Agree lists will help. Can anyone have the kids for an hour or two or longer at the weekend while you try to get some jobs done? Don't try to do too much and one go. It is overwhelming and you'll lose heart.

A list for each room

prioritise based on what you find important and then rewrite in that order

E.g.
Essential (working rads/service boiler/sweep chimney type things)
Storage (cupboards /shelves to tidy and unpack to)
Add warmth (blinds, curtains etc)
Decoration

I have my lists broken down much further for each category and stuck to kitchen cabinet doors as we work through the house (2 years in and lists have been rewritten several times)

1. Toilets (you need them to be reliable!)
2. Kitchen (so you can at least prepare and cook meals - if that's not done already)
3. Playroom storage and table (to keep dcs out of your hair, and make it less of a pain) IKEA?
4. Sitting room - nice to have somewhere to relax
5. Your bedroom! You need a calm space if you're busy sorting things.
6. Work your way through dc's rooms.

You can probably do 1, 2 and 3 together. Don't allow yourself to go from one thing to the next, though - if something is in the wrong room, put it in a box in the right room until you tackle it. Similarly, if something belongs in a room you've already done, put it away properly before you move on. Tackle decoration last if all - that may be a while away, but at least you will feel organised enough to tackle it when you're ready.

If you've got any holiday allowance left, I'd consider getting a few days of work to get on with the house like it's a full time job. Or set aside some time every week to tackle one room/job at a time.

We moved six months ago to a similar situation.

It was overwhelming and there were several pressing jobs. Namely when DH had a shower on day 2 and it all came through kitchen ceiling! Then there were the windows that wouldn't shut. I thought we had bitten off too much when I saw the cream carpets were black and the house I thought was immaculate was indeed worn and dirty

I made a long list and wondered where to start. I decided to have a five year plan.

Six months in (and a bit of savings) and we are finally turning a corner, having just booked our kitchen, which is a £10k spend. We need new double glazing but it will have to wait.

The house was a little cheaper so we are lucky to have savings.

This is what we have done since March
Fix a problematic bathroom ourselves
Fix problematic heater/boiler ourselves
Fix old burglar alarm ourselves
Recarpet lounge, one bedroom and dining
Decorate lounge and dining (inc. soundproof/plasterboard) done by DH
Decorate our bedroom
Replace some window panels and broken locks

The paperwork alone was a job to sort!

Every weekend I tried to recycle or go to tip as we still had lots of junk.

For us the main parts were having a liveable lounge/bedroom. The kitchen's vile so we did that.

Next year will be some new windows

Maybe bathroom following year then

The kids' carpets and decor
En suite
Hallway carpet

You will get there I promise. Finally, ours is feeling like home

We got blinds too. An amazing deal something like 700 for six venetian blinds fitted - a great guy on the market!

Windows and curtains came first (then we got blinds) for a few weeks we lived in chaos while trying to work/school. Luckily we moved feb halfterm off but after that it was chaos.

I know it will feel full on but plough through. When we arrived the electric was on a meter - next to nothing - we had no card or code and I wanted to cry.

I couldnt find anything.

But it starts to get more organised.

Totally agree with lists. I moved three months ago, and only last week have I stopped having to check my list (in my phone) as soon as the kids are in bed to know what HAS to get done. We had a party, then a relative to stay, which acted as quite good hard deadlines too...
Are you still all boxes? (We are!) can you designate one room as the hell room of boxes and get everywhere else acceptably usable? Should take one evening per room (keep your standards low...). Then unpack one box per night, properly, and you will eventually be done.
In the meantime:
Ring a plumber re loos
Start a massive handyman list and book a full day of someone in two weeks time
Order a blind for DS

Super short term- use a box as a craft table for DD.

One job per evening tops, then go to bed- you need to look after yourselves too.

It's so hard!!! We still have builders too...

I sympathise. I think we are finally out the other end but still have long lists of things to sort. For us the thing that helped most was shoving all the unopened boxes in one room. It was stressful looking at it but I could at least shut the door. I also had the loft boarded to give extra storage. Then it was a matter of lists and prioritisation. I also came to realise that it was worth paying more for things to be done now. Rather than spending ages shopping around and getting loads of quotes.

Good luck

I know it sounds like the most boring ever use of annual leave, but can you leave the kids with someone and take some time off work and really fly at the organisation and packing? It's amazing what you can do in a day when you really go at it and you're not distracted. Once you get everything tidy, it's much easier to find the routine, which then creates the time to do the jobs that improve things and get the DIY done. It should also settle the kids down too.

Agree with the annual leave, and it doesn't have to be much. Just one day of 9-5 sorting made such a difference for me. I sorted utilities/quotes etc on my lunch break (some can be done online)

Can you get anyone to take the kids for a weekend? Or could one of you take the kids out for alternate days of the weekend - fill the full day with swimming/parks/cafe lunch/museums/zoo's and the other cracks on at home.

Thank you for all the suggestions, i've just had 5 minutes to myself to sit and read through them.
This morning was awful. DH is away, DS playing up, I couldn't find clean school jumper or a single hair clip for dd even though I must have bought hundreds!! Run
out of milk. Can't find school library book. Kitchen in a state as was too tired last night to finish off. Beds & towels still need changing. Feel like crying.

I work every day but am trialling having Friday's off so today I have. few hours to make a list as has been suggested. I am going to an exercise class this morning and very nearly cancelled as I thought I can't spare the time but I need to exercise as I have some health issues and I am always making excuses so Inam going to go!!
Then I need to pop to town so by the time I get back it will be about 12.30 leaving me 2 hours until school run. It doesn't feel like it will be long enough to make much progress. Perhaps I should just walk round the house and make a list of everything and then try and prioritise it?

At least I have ordered a tumble dryer so I can get on top of the laundry.

I love my family but this is bloody hard work! And to think we were considering buying a doer upper😫. Thank goodness we didn't!

Unfortunately we don't have anyone who can have the kids for any length of time at the weekends. Dh is happy to take them out but then I feel I'm always missing out on the fun as a family.

We bought a doer upper when my children were 3 and 6!!! I still can't remember much about those first years it was so hard I think I blanked it from my mind!!!!

I suppose you could try and get a friend to take kids for the day/sleepover with the promise of a return favour when you are more sorted?

We moved a month ago and I am feeling overwhelmed with everything. The house itself is ok in that it doesn't anything major doing but there are just so many little things that need doing. We've got problems with the toilets blocking and several things appear to have stopped working or broke as soon as we moved in! It also looks a lot more tired than when we viewed it & could do with a repaint and some new carpets throughout.

This sounds EXACTLY like our house move experience! We moved just under a year ago thinking we were moving into a place that needed almost no work - but then there were loads of niggling things that needed sorting and it really does need painting and recarpeting too. A month after we moved in I felt just like you - I'd been so excited about moving (our new house is bigger than our old one and in a nicer area) but just felt unsettled and stressed for ages when we actually got in.

Agree that you need to sit down and really prioritise the big stuff like getting the toilets fixed.

In terms of not being able to find stuff, is this because you haven't actually unpacked everything yet and/or don't have enough furniture set up? If so, it's honestly worth going to Ikea and getting some very cheap stuff even just to temporarily house things before you decide what you're doing with each room - even if it's just cheap open shelving units, clothes rails or some storage baskets. We also bought cheap, 'placeholder' curtains from Ikea for the windows - yes, they will be replaced very soon but it was worth the small extra expense just to have one less thing to worry about for a while.

Make a list of all the things you need to get other people to do - start with the repairs (eg the toilets) and don't worry about the cosmetic stuff. Spend an hour or so getting quotes for those jobs and just get them booked in if you can.

I ended up with a folder of phone numbers, quotes, shopping lists etc which I kept adding to and which has honestly been really helpful. Lists are totally your friend.

Thanks Polly, that is exactly how I feel, I was so excited but now just feel too exhausted & overwhelmed to enjoy it. Did you have youngish children when you moved? I feel like such a rubbish mum at the moment.
How do you feel about the house now?
What are placeholder curtains?