Living in the property during building works

[NakedMum33and3rd]

We are about to complete on our purchase/sale. The property we are buying needs a lot of cosmetic work plus a rewire, new boiler and we are extending it and converting some outbuildings.
I want to live in the property with our two DC's aged 2 and 4 as I think it will be ok but DH wants to move in with my parents to avoid the chaos.
I do not get on with DM at all. We can barely spend an afternoon together. DH thinks I should suck it up as they are helping us but it does quite a lot of damage to my mental health being with her for a long time (another story). I don't want the kids seeing me stressed.
Realistically, can we live through this (rewire, extension). The property needs new everything (plastering etc) Hasn't been touched for about 40 years.
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Thanks
X

We did it op and managed... You would manage if needed you can but dp may think why would we when we can stay in comfort ... Problem seems to be he doesn't get that you don't want too rather than whether you can live through the work. We had it rewired, changed from oil heating to gas etc so was very messy dusty work but it's doable...

Thanks cbigs. That is good to hear. I'm sure our DC's wouldn't be bothered and would see it as an adventure. I'm sure there will be times when I wish we weren't living there but I know I will be much happier in our own space.

Haven't done it, don't have the patience or drive to do a full refurb so hats off to you both but

You both need to be on the same page and you need a very good project manager.

Could you split the renovation into two parts? Complete one part including a bathroom, bedroom ad somewhere you could use as a kitchen then seal it off from the rest of the house?

We have done a fair amount to the house and lived through it. There are pros and cons- being available to answer questions and seeing exactly how things are developing.

However. After the third month of having people in my house all hours, even weekends, I started to get really tetchy. We escaped to my mum's house when she wasn't there for a few days and it helped my sanity. Everyone else coped just fine.

If I was doing g a major job in the future I would consider a cheap air bnb for a few days here and there or house sitting but just couldn't afford to be elsewhere- so I guess it depends on the mental cost of either and only you can know how that will pan out. Kids are über resilient.

Your mental health is very important so in the circumstances I wouldn't move in with your family.

We did it when the kids were babies and we built on a 2 story extension. It was hard but doable.
Just had half the house replastered, carpenter, paint etc after flood and had to move out for 4 days . Lack of access to the kitchen, trying to keep school routine and having to keep out of the way all day made it very hard. It was easier when kids were smaller as I didn't have to try and maintain some normality. (They are 12,9 and 7)
I think it depends on so many factors, like weather etc. One day I spent 50 in an afternoon between food and cinema to keep them out after school before the work was cleared for day.

Thank you everyone. We could make the upstairs liveable first and make a camping style kitchen up there. I am very certain that this is what I want to do and I guess we are lucky that we have he option to go and stay with my parents if it does get too much.
Thank you.

The most awkward parts are 1) having no electric, 2) having no water, 3) having no bathroom, and 4) having no kitchen. I'd find out how long each of those will apply, and consider your options. They may well have to switch the electric off during the day, for example, but put it back on at night, in which case, have you got somewhere to go during the day? If you do, you'll probably be fine. Bear in mind that your heating won't work without electric - fine for a couple of days in summer; less fine for a fortnight in November.

I found the bathroom hardest to live without, although they were able to make sure that the toilet was always useable by the end of the day (sometimes we had to flush with a bucket though!).

Kitchen is manageable if you have a functioning bathroom - do dishes in the bath, keep kettle and microwave in living room/bedroom.

Could you send the DCs to your mum's for a few days without you having to go too?

Rewiring is the worst bit - endless dust, floorboards up etc. If you can move out for that then you can probably survive the rest providing the house is weathertight.

I have fond memories of living in a building site and having to wash entirely in a basin as a teenager. That said, it didn't go on for long, and because we were living there, in the end some jobs never got done simply because we were desperate to have our house back.

Any chance you could have a mobile home in the garden during the work? A friend's dad is doing this while he is building a house, and it is amazingly comfortable inside.

We are about 2.5 months into a double storey extension with 7, 11 and 11 year old children. I like my MIL for an afternoon, any more than that and we would fall out. I am getting fed up now of the building works - builders have been amazing (they've fashioned a kitchen for us even though we've effectively lost the back half of the house) but its messy, we're on top of one another, and we have the loss of the bathroom for about 3-4 days to look forward to. Four of us are living in one bedroom (we have a small single too for my son) and we have one room downstairs. Even with putting stuff in storage, we're falling over each other, can't find anything and its hard work. But I still wouldn't live with my MIL.

Do the refurb work in phases if you plan to stay. I've tried it before and we were able to manage. I supervised the work to make sure me, my wife and kids had a spot where we are comfortable with while the work is underway. Kids were on their pre-teens during that time so that was a plus. Talk to your DH and decide if you both want to stay or temporarily live with your DM.

I am living through an extension now. My children are 9 and 11 and at school most of the time. I have to be honest , it's a real struggle. Not only do we have half the amount of rooms but each room is fill of stuff from other rooms . A total health and safety headache with children your age. We are going on holiday as soon as the school breaks up to escape. There's also the constant noise which would affect your little one if they sleep. I would move out if you can but not to your mum by the sounds of it!