What would you do? Move or stay? Help!

[Frenchboat]

Today 12:56 Unpopular

Hello there

We are in a real dilemma if we should move house or not.
We love the actual area and it's home but the estate we are on is just getting more awkward. Reasons we are thinking of moving are;

• it's too small. We can add a small extension to the back but we also need to go into loft at some point. However when loft conversion company came they said there could be some sort of issue due to

Roof shape. I phoned council this morning and nobody will come and look unless we put a full planning application in (paid ). Not sure if we should extend downstairs if we can never extend upstairs.

• The pub at bottom of our garden is really noisy on Friday nights but in Summer most nights and keeps my little girl awake.

• The directors of residents association on the estate recently forced parking permits on us. Only allowed 2 each meaning very awkward to have anyone over. I also occasionally need people to come help me with my business I run from home

So yes all reasons that I feel unhappy with.

Reasons for staying

• Not taking on extra debt of moving. To stay in area and move off the estate could mean taking on an extra £50-100k mortgage. Yikes

• If we can't find anything right in village we might need reapply for schools nearer to new house and my youngest won't go with her current nusery friends and it's the starting all over again not knowing anyone . For eldest she is moving anyway in a year to secondary so not a deal breaker

• there is a train station walkable in minutes where we are so when my children are older they can be more independent

• Might sound insignificant but currently there is a post office 1 minute drive away that happily takes my business post (had ones in past who refuse to as they get no money) and with an online business it's essential

• Lots of children to play with easily on the estate as they just knock on each other's doors

I just keep going round in circles. What would you do? DH changes his mind just as often...

Hi Frenchboat,

We are in a similar pickle, just can't decide whether to stay or go; we know we will need to move eventually but don't know if the timing is right now.

All of your reasons for staying seem valuable to me and the reasons to leave don't sound too pressing. Have you viewed any houses? That might help you decide. We were dead set on going until we viewed places, it put us off a little because we just kept comparing to what we have now which showed that we probably aren't as keen to go as we thought.

I'm not sure what you mean by the extra debt with the mortgage if you go? But if that is the case, comparing that to the price & bother of extending, which will be less expensive/hassle?

Your other reasons for leaving: parking & pub noise; seem more like annoyances than deal breakers but then obviously I don't know how bad the noise/parking is. It's difficult to be of help, other than suggesting viewing potential houses and getting into the frame of mind of selling, so preparing the house & adding up costs, I'm not sure what to say as I'm in a similar rut!

Good luck with whatever you decide though!

Well the noise from the pub would drive me nuts, so for that reason alone I'd move.

The only invalid case for staying is Dd staying with friends at such a young age, she'll get over that very quickly. Everything else is fair enough, but maybe you'd find another house with friendly post office, station nearby etc.

I'd go and look and see what's out there.

MrsBee it's tough isn't it? It's not like you can get a refund if you realise it was a mistake!
It was a no brainer with our last house move but this one is trickier.

We have only viewed one house so far but the location was great, but it just wasn't quite for us. There is 1-2 others that look like they could be good I think we shuld go and look at them.

Why do you want to move house?

Throughthick, yes the pub is a shame. It was always ok to a point but it changed hands about a year ago and the new landlord just doesnt seem to care about noise control.

I suppose the friend thing just isn't about dd if Im honest! When we first moved here all the other mums has known each other for years through nusery and so on so were already friends and I felt like an outsider and stood like a lemon in the playground waiting for dd1- not a great experience. With dd 2 I vowed it would be different so made a real effor to attend all the playgroups and befriend the nusery mums and now have some great friends so we would enjoy the school experience a lot more. Guess I am a bit loathe to start the process all over again if we move somewhere more unknown. I guess I would just have to get on with it if it came to it.Though dd little friends do mean a lot to her as well.

It's tough to know whats right

We moved to the house we're in now purely out of convenience, it was very close to my OH's work and my university. Now though, I have finished my course and he has moved offices, we both commute over an hour to get to where we need to be. We like our house but we dislike our location and have no real reason to be here anymore. We definitely want to move, it's just getting the momentum to actually do it and the longer we leave it, the less likely it seems!

You sound positive about the one viewing you've had which I think is good sign, hopefully the more viewings you do, the more certain you'll become about moving. The going back and forth is the absolute worst! If you're not moving too far from where you are currently, could you not start attending playgroups in the area you're looking to relocate to? Get more of a feel for the area and hopefully meet some new friends for both you and dd before you make the move? Might help a little with the decision.

The pub would drive me mad and Id have to move. Have you spoken to the Parish Council? How do other neighbours feel? If there are enough complaints something would be done about the noise.

It also doesnt sound as if your house is big enough for what you want now. Attic conversions are relatively cheap and easy (but if its not possible theres no way around it). Getting the same space in an extension would probably cost far more, would be disruptive and maybe not even allowed anyway.

It seems the best option is to move locally and keep DD2 at nursery and then the same primary? Where you now know people. Do you have a place at this school?

If not moving towards DD1s secondary school - where presumably you'd know mums from her year? Could you still get dd2 to her school from there?

I think when you find a house you love, the decision will be made!