Is this estate agent on glue?

[JumpJockey]

The description says :
'Offering a very unique opportunity for suitors to create their own vision of how cottage living works for them. This property is indeed packed with opportunity and reminiscence of how good old fashioned Britain once lived.

The creative eye will seek the potential opportunity within this property and the final outcome could indeed be a joyous masterpiece.'

OK, so, suitors?! Are people going to romance this house? And you can't say Very unique, you just can't.

Now look at the house and tell me 'reminiscence of how good old fashioned Britain once lived' doesn't just mean 'a tired old house in dire need of vast amounts of work'

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-36655329.html

"Is this estate agent on glue?"
Yes, quite possibly

Look at some of their other descriptions, I give you this one as an example :

"Imagine yourself waking up and walking out onto your balcony from the master bedroom, watching the morning mist lift over the River Cam and the rowers glide along the waters."

"Now imagine yourself pushing back the frameless, bi fold doors from the living room, opening up to the large decking area, enjoying breakfast outside and reflecting on the day ahead."

"Can you picture it?"
"Now come and live it!"

Cottage living = shitting next to the kitchen

They are honest, it is how people used to live. Unmodernised would be another way to describe it. I'm surprised they haven't put an 'opportunity to purchase a house owned by the same family for 50 years'.

cant write for toffee can they
is there an estate agents creative writing course
absolute pants isnt it

Mmm needs a new kitchen and bathroom and a little decorating.
Hats off to the positive spin that ea has manage to put on this, obviously meds glue are working.
Pretty normal in these type of cottages for bathroom to lead off from the kitchen.
I am sure this will be snapped up by some lucky punter given that competitive price...

'reminiscence of how good old fashioned Britain once lived'

I wasn't expecting a 70s decor when I read that. Had it been anything pre-WW2 in terms of style, then yes, that description would have made sense.

I'm just imagining viewers are given the full experience by the EA playing greatest hits from the early 70s in the background during viewings.

packed with ... reminiscence of makes no sense at all but then neither does a house having suitors!
Strange they don't mention the handy location on an A road though.

We viewed a house once with the description 'zen-style front garden'. It was a square metre of gravel at the front of a back to back terrace.

Poetic license??

I think it was written by someone who has just found the thesaurus function in Word, but doesn't really understand it. If I were the vendor I'd be having words. And it's overpriced.

Great Shelford, walking distance to station, looks cheap to me which suggests wide angle lens photos and overlooked. Busy road, awkward layout but the station trumps that I think. Oversubscribed schools I think but yummy mum deli around the corner.

Not the language I'd expect from Abbott's - maybe they were just having fun !

I worked for an estate agent who always put in each brochure "A central attractive feature of the room is....the fireplace/window/doors". What does that mean? Also another local agent uses the word "bijou" a lot to describe very tiny properties in which only a guinea pig can reside.

Yes. Quite possibly

I realise this might be a deceased estate, but if not why haven't the vendors proof-read the blurb? When we were selling our last two houses the EA in each case (different companies) expected us to read through and check everything before the listing went live on RM etc.....

Last time I we actually had quite a lot of input into the way the listing was worded and our agent was determined we should be 100% happy with how the ad looked.

I've had the EA put the details on RM before I had proof read them - I was not pleased, especially as mistakes had been made with the descriptions of some items in addition to the obligatory typos and grammatical errors.

To be fair,, writing blurb for the average British house is probably pretty dull. Especially when you do it day in, day out for tens of houses. I'd probably get a bit creative to save my own sanity too, if it were me.

Apols for typos (no, I'm not an EA)

It's barely English! If they want to get creative with their descriptions, they should probably work on improving their language skills first.

Is anyone old enough to remember the fabulously eccentric Roy Brooks (estate agent)?!

www.roybrooks.co.uk/the-book

www.mortgagestrategy.co.uk/remembering-roy-brooks-the-honest-estate-agent/