20k+ essential refurb, 25wks pregnant, single and not rich

[trian]

sorry, i know this is probably an area of mumsnet that's all about practicality but i just wanted to come on here and moan a bit to people that might understand what a stress this is. When I say refurb i don't mean "making all pretty" or "changing things to just how i like", I mean without this refurb social services would probably say the properly is not adequate for a newborn!
I think I'll get through it, it's just a massive pain in the arse that i don't need at the moment!!!! It all had to be done though, it was the only way i could get a family and keep a house.

Nightmare! At least when you get the work done you'll have a great place to live and a squishy baby too :) It's sometimes better to just get all the difficult stuff over and done with at once - I sold a house, had a baby, moved country and bought a house within 6 weeks last year! Good luck.

It may not be a glamorous way to spend your money but having a home that doesn't have a leaking roof/arcing electrics/no hot water/rising damp or whatever dull horrors your £20k is going on, is lovely. Not worrying every time it rains or you switch on the kettle is definitely a good way to welcome a new baby. Good luck with it all.

Belfast - I beat you: when I had my second child, I sold a house, went overseas for six weeks, moved house when I got back which involved starting a major refurb and several months without reliable hot water or a kitchen, got made redundant, started a new business and began a degree within three months. He is now 9 though, I'm not sure I'd have the energy these days .

I know lala, at the time you just get on with it but looking back you wonder how you had the energy to fit everything in :)

As someone in the midst of building work, tradespeople that don't turn up, delay after delay, and people damaging things that other people have just done, I totally sympathise with the nightmare you must be having (and I'm not pregnant, or changing job and have no immediate plans to move country!).

Two small things that I do which help when it's a bad day and I'm cleaning the dust of the kitchen table for the millionth evening in a row:

1. Visualise myself in the finished rooms (generally it involves a beautiful day, relaxing glass of wine and children playing happily so probably still a fantasy)

1. Celebrate the small wins...like having a sink and running water!

It sounds like an amazing thing you are doing btw. and though I want to hit people when they tell me that it will all be worth it in the end I really think it will for you

thank you so, so much for all your lovely kind words. I know I'll get through it, it's just such a waste of my talents, I had to quit my career and get an easy job in order to have the strength to achieve these things! So, so hoping for less stress once the baby is born etc (i know loads of people would laugh at the idea of a newborn being less stress, but they don't all cry non-stop etc etc apparently!)
thanks again for all your kind words, maybe one day i'll even have a nice fella too! Failing that i will kidnap a sexy filmstar and give them amnesia or something ;-)