Disclose Identity

[nextfiveyears]

Hi,

We want to start plan for house extension. Attempted to ask some neighbours about their experiences with the builders they used, as there are constantly extension works going on in our area.

I wrote a note and planned to drop to one or two chosen neighbours who had similar size of extensions like what we plan to do. But DH doesn't want to put our house no. on the note, saying he doesn't feel comfortable to disclose our details to someone whom we don't know. He says it's ok to put names and email address, but not house no.

I'm really not convinced, thinking it's us who are asking others to share information with us and we are asking for a favour, how could we do so without letting the other side know who we are. If I were the neighbour who's going to receive the note, I would feel reluctant to make contact as "I don't know who you are!".

Does it make sense?

Could you not just pop round, introduce yourself/ves and talk to your neighbours? Far more straightforward and people will tell you things in conversation they won't commit in writing.

You say, "Attempted to ask some neighbours." What have you done so far?

In our cul-de-sac of 23 houses we all do Christmas cards and sign 'from number X ' so we all know each other and take the time to talk to each other - I work full time so don't know everyone but we make a point of stopping to say hello and sending a welcome note to anyone new who moves in. I would hate to be in an anonymous area where I was worried about even talking to neighbours. It sounds like a good opportunity to get in touch. Face to face is best. I've knocked on people's doors and asked if they'd recommend the person who did their drive etc.

I think your husband is being a bit odd. Of course you should give your neighbours your details, you're asking them for a favour and it would be weird not to identify yourselves.

Hi, thank you for the advice.

I talked with DH, it turned out he'd rather knock the neighbours' door than leaving a note with names and address.

Don't know what he's thinking, but I'm happy if he doesn't mind knocking the doors and talking with people in person.

(I would be ultra nervous if I have to do that and that's why I suggested to drop a note to begin with.)

So case closed. Thanks to you ladies.